Drowning
by K.R. Winston
Summary: When a soldier returns to the life and the future he had to leave behind, to the girl he loves, will she still be waiting with open arms, or will her arms be around someone else? Trory.
1. Prologue: Anywhere But Here

-Okay guys, I know that you're probably going to be thinking "Another story!? Is she crazy? She hasn't finished any of the ones that she already has started. But..I have warned you before and I will warn you again..as much as I tell you I'll try to update soon..it probably won't be as soon as you or I would like. So I apologize for doing this to you all, but this is indeed ANOTHER story. lol. So don't think about how mad at me you are for not updating my others. Just read, enjoy, and savor it because since it's only the prologue, it's very short. My apologies! Read and REVIEW!! I love everyone that thinks my stories are something worth talking about. So put your reviews out there. It'll up your chances at an update. :)

-K-

And without further adieu...

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls..obviously

Prologue: Anywhere But Here

He watched her as she sipped on her drink, noticing, she looked up at him from underneath her eyelashes. He mumbled something into her ear softly that made her smile and touch the side of his face. She mouthed the words "I love you."

"Fuck," he cursed, turning away from the scene. He could rarely stomach anything like that anymore. It wasn't that it really made him sick. The scene itself was...well, it was love. Or at least, it looked like love. And these days, anything that looked even close to love, seeing a couple holding hands, or kissing at a stop light, laughing in the park, playing with their kids. He couldn't watch that, not anymore. Not since her.

He threw his head back bringing the bottle with it and taking a long, full swig of his beer. He wasn't sure anymore what number he was on, and he wasn't sure if he was drunk, tipsy, or still sober. Everything felt the same these days. His emotions didn't change much. He went from depressed, to lonely, to angry, to heartbroken and right back into the circle again. His days now were slow, painful and he hated every single one of them. He hated every single day since he'd last seen her face. Which is why tonight he was in this place, in this bar, trying for the millionth time to forget about her. He didn't want to close his eyes and see hers, he didn't want to ache for her to be beside him again.

"Tristan." And he sure as hell, didn't want that. He turned slowly, not even attempting to put a smile on his face. He should have known he'd be getting a visit from this particular acquaintance. No, he shook his head. Friend. A visit from this particular friend. Just because he was her best friend didn't make him less than he had been before.

He wasn't sure how to respond. This sure as hell wasn't the way he wanted to be seen. Sitting in a dimly lighted bar drowning in his beer bottle wasn't exactly moving on now was it? But, it was probably expected. "Hey, Jess."

"Didn't really expect to see you here, man."

Tristan arched an eyebrow and let a knowing smirk spread across his face. "Jess, that's a lie and we both know it."

Jess chuckled, rubbing his palm against the back of his neck. "I guess I was just worried about you. Your sister said she hadn't heard from you and, I don't know I just,"

"Figured I'd be here?"

He shook his head. "Actually I went a couple other places first. This is place number four. So don't worry, you aren't as predictable as you look."

Tristan chuckled and nodded slightly, finishing off his beer and setting it on the counter. "Well you checked up on me and I'm shitty, so you can take off if you want."

Jess sighed. "Come on man I'm not checking up on you the way you think I am. I just don't want you to be so miserable."

Tristan gave a deep, dark laugh. "Not so miserable," he mumbled. "Right."

"She's worried about you too, Tristan."

He held up a hand. "Don't," he said. "I don't want to talk about her, Jess."

"Tristan, come on. You have to stop this, you have to pick yourself up and live your life."

He shook his head. "Do you want to tell me how to do that, Jess? Do you want to enlighten me on how exactly my life is supposed to be? Because I thought I knew but apparently I don't have a fucking clue! You want me to smile? Because I can't. You want me to laugh? I think I forgot how. Without her, this _is_ my life. Nothing, that's what I am without her. And we both know that."

Jess got up, threw down a few dollars on the bar to pay for Tristan's drink and dragged him outside. He gripped the back of Tristan's well known leather jacket tight and spun him around, taking advantage of the taller man's alcohol content, and shoved him against the building hard. "You want to know how to live your life, Tristan?" He hollered. "You want to know how to pick up the goddamn pieces!? You put down the bottle and go get your girl back."

"She doesn't want me, Jess." Tristan's tone was defeated before he even started. This seemed to piss Jess off even more and he let the smaller figure slam him against the building again without protest.

"And how the hell do you know!? Have you picked up a phone to try, Tristan?" He didn't wait for an answer. "No! You haven't. You haven't even tried. She walked away and you didn't follow her. You didn't fight for her." Jess pushed Tristan away from him and Tristan straightened his jacket. "You gave up."

"What did you want me to do, Jess? Beg her to be happy with me? She knows that I love her, she knows that I want her. She chose him. What the hell do you want me to do!" He was yelling now. He was yelling and he didn't care anymore. "There's nothing I can do now, Jess. She doesn't want me. _She chose him_."

"What do you want, Tristan?"

He sighed, running his hands through his hair. "I want her to be happy. That's what I want. If she's happy with him then why should I take that away from her. I can't ask her to give up her life for me, Jess."

"She still loves you."

Tristan held his hand up. "Could you do me a favor?"

He sighed, nodding. "Sure."

Tristan smiled slightly but it almost looked like a wince, a movement to push away the pain. "Could you not tell her you saw me here, like this. Tell her whatever you want. Tell her I'm happy, that I've moved on, that I'm better than ever, that I'm seeing someone. Just don't tell her that you saw me the way that I am. It would only hurt her."

Jess frowned shaking his head. "Tristan, you could just come back with me. You could just try to,"

He shook his head again. "Just tell her I'm anywhere but here. Please."

Jess nodded reluctantly. "Okay."

Tristan sighed, leaning back against the building heavily and watching his friend, the friend that he knew was only trying to help, walk away without gaining an inch. He'd been surprised when the first phone call came. But then again, he hadn't been. He'd expected it, almost hoped for it actually. It meant that maybe she still wanted to know he was okay.

What was he thinking. Of course she wanted to know if he was okay. She didn't stop caring about him she'd said that herself. And he was being unfair to both of them by walking away, by not fighting back, by giving up. He just didn't have the strength for it anymore.

Six months. All she would've had to do was wait six more months and he would've been home, they would've gotten married, they would've raised kids the way they'd always wanted to, their dreams were six god damn months away. But she didn't know that, and neither had he. He couldn't blame her really. He knew it was hard on her. Two visits a year for three years, the crying every time his plane took off, not hearing his voice for sometimes months at a time. It was hard, it was damn hard.

He remembered her last phone call, her last letter, the last time he heard her say that she loved him. It'd been six months since then. And if she'd just waited for him a little bit longer. They'd be married two days from now. They'd be starting their lives together, moving in, making babies, raising kids. They'd be doing it all two days from now if only she'd waited six more god damned months. She waited three fucking years for him. Three years! And she couldn't wait six months more.

These were the jumble of thoughts that ran through Tristan's mind as he walked home from the bar, back to his apartment, back into the life he never wanted, to the loneliness he never dreamed would hang on his shoulders. He turned the key in the lock threw the door open, kicked off his shoes, walked the plush carpet to his chair. Picked up the book he'd read over and over again for the last six months. Pride and Prejudice. Of course it had to be a Jane Austen, with her it was always Jane Austen. And he read it, because he missed her. He just fucking missed her.


	2. Somewhere In Between

Chapter Two: Somewhere In Between

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls (obviously.)

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He wasn't sure how he even convinced himself that coming here would be a good idea, or would be at all productive to pulling him out of the rut he had buried himself so deeply into. But, nonetheless, here he sat. Miserable and reminiscent. He sat on the steps he'd sat on so many times in this place. He told himself that he came here to think, to remember and to let go. But deep in his mind, in a place he couldn't seem to bring to the surface, he knew that he really came to just be close to her. Even if she didn't know he was close, he wanted to be near her.

His mind was a movie, playing in flashbacks as he sat on the wooden steps that held more than a few memories. But at this moment, his mind wasn't playing a scene that had taken place on these steps. His mind was playing the night he'd first known that he loved her. The night, it seemed to him now, that ruined him forever.

_It was raining harder than he'd ever seen outside the windows of his bedroom. She sat in the chair in the corner of his room, reading, of course. He also sat with a book, but he only seemed to be reading. Watching her had always been so much more entertaining for him. He loved to read, but he couldn't seem to make himself when she was near him. His eyes traced over the way her legs were tucked under her body, the way a piece of her brown hair fell over her eyes. He watched the way she held onto the book so tightly, the way her eyes sparkled as they traced the words. God, he loved watching her. _

_Finally, she looked up at him, meeting his gaze and she blushed, pushing her hair behind her ears and smiling shyly. "What?" she asked timidly and he grinned. _

"_Nothing," he said, shaking his head. "I just, I like watching you that's all."_

_She rolled her eyes. "Why?" she laughed and he let out a calm sigh. He loved the sound of her laughter. He loved the way she read a book. He loved the way she watched movies, the way her hair looked back in a ponytail, the way it fell across her shoulders when the rare occasion occurred and she let it hang loose. He loved the way her eyes sparkled when she was interested. He loved that he could make her blush so easily. He loved everything about her. _

"_Why?" she repeated and he looked up at her, his gaze was now solemn and searching hers. He bit down on his bottom lip and studied her with great intensity. She met his eyes, confusion spread through hers. She smiled in both humor and confusion. "Why do you like watching me so much?" she asked again, a bit slower this time. _

_He looked down at the floor for a moment, frowning in thought and then glancing back up into her eyes. He smiled at her. He stood, walking over to her and kneeling in front of the chair. He pulled her face softly into his hands and pressed his forehead against hers. _

_She frowned slightly but allowed him to do what he wished. She let her own hands cover his on her face. And she whispered. "What is it?"_

_He smiled lightly and kissed her quickly and softly before whispering. "I love you, Mary." _

_She let her eyes open wider and her arms went quickly around his neck. She pulled him as close as she could to herself, taking in every part of the moment, everything he was wearing and every smile and the way he smelt and the sound of his voice. She traced every piece of the moment before pulling away from him only enough to look into his eyes. "I love you too, Tristan," she whispered. "I love you too." _

_His smile grew from a light hearted smirk to a grin that spread across his entire face and reached up and into his eyes. The happiness in his chest turning his turquoise eyes a sparkling silver blue. He kissed her forehead. "God, I was hoping you'd say that," he mumbled and she chuckled softly. _

"_What are we going to do with you, Tristan Janlan DuGrey?" she teased and he shook his head, laughing as she kissed him slowly. _

"_Be with me forever?" he suggested between kisses. "Or, at least until you get sick of me," he teased._

_She smiled. "I could never get sick of you, Tris. You're the only person I can see myself having a future with, you know that? You're it, Tristan. You're stuck with me." _

_Tristan pulled her closer and smiled. "Good. Because I want all of you. And I want you forever, all to myself."_

_She snuggled into his hold and he gave a contented sigh. "I love you, Tris." _

_He kissed the top of her head. "I love you too, Mar." _

Well, so much for that future. He thought now. So much for forever. He covered his eyes with his hands and ran them up and into his already disheveled hair. Why did he come here, why did he think putting himself through this obvious torture would help anything. If it was doing something for him, it was only making him miss her more, want her more, strengthen what he already knew was his love for her. Thinking about the strength of their love flung his mind back into another memory. One that wasn't so happy, so perfect, one where they weren't so young anymore.

_He was still asleep when she walked into the room, sitting beside his bed and wiping the recurring stream from her already tear-stained face. She reached out to take his hand and as much as he wanted to he couldn't squeeze her fingers back when she asked him to. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't bring his fingers to wrap tighter around hers. But he heard every word she said to him. _

_He could hear the tears rolling down her cheeks and it hurt him more than he ever thought it could. But he couldn't open his eyes. He couldn't tell her he could hear her, or tell her he loved her, or that it would all be alright. He was in the dark now, and all he could do was listen. _

"_Tristan," she started. "God, Tristan, I hope you can hear me. I don't know what to do. I didn't know what to do. I never expected my phone to ring and bring me that phone call. I never expected this. I waited for it and hoped it would never happen, but I never expected it. I can't do this. Not now, God, not ever. I can't just sit here and watch you leave me without a fight. I can't just hold your hand while you slip away. I can't watch you go like this, Tristan. You're too strong for this, you're too brave, and wonderful. You're too much of a fighter for this, Tristan. I can't lose you! I love you too much!"_

_She cried then, she really cried. She buried her head into the blankets on his bed and cried. She held onto him and let her tears run rivers into his sheets. And he couldn't stop her. He couldn't hold her, he couldn't tell her it was all okay. As hard he tried he couldn't open his eyes. He couldn't squeeze her hand. But he fought. She needed him and he fought as hard as he could for her. He forced himself to move just one finger, to just graze her palm with his own hand. _

_She opened her eyes, looked up at him and squeezed tighter onto his hand. Slowly, he fought to open his eyes. Finally his body pushed open his eyes. His throat was so rough he didn't think he could form a coherent sentence. So he did the best he could. He squeezed her hand as tightly as he could. She jumped at first but then looked up at him. She looked him right in the eyes and the first thing she said to him had been: "Don't you ever leave me again." _

_And he'd forced a smile and nodded. "God Tristan, I was so scared! I was so afraid that you weren't going to make it, I was so scared you wouldn't fight hard enough, that you wouldn't ever open your eyes again. I was so god damned scared that I'd never see you smile again!" _

_Tristan's forced smile faded then and a frown replaced it, he took her hand and held in tightly in his own. He gave a gesture toward the water glass and she reached for it, helping him take a drink. He cleared his throat and breathed heavily for a few minutes before speaking. "I'll never lose you, baby. I couldn't let you go. I love you more than anything." He coughed roughly and winced but continued softly. "If I have a chance to survive I'm taking it. I'm alive because of you, Mary. You know that? You're the reason my eyes are open again. You're what I live for, babe. I need you." _

_Her eyes filled with tears that rolled over and spilled down her cheeks once again. "I love you too," she mumbled. "I can't lose you, Tristan." _

_He sighed, wincing slightly and closed his eyes. "You won't lose me, Mary. I'm not goin' anywhere. You're stuck with me, baby." _

_She grinned. "I love you more than you could ever know, Tris." _

_He nodded slowly. "I love you too, baby." _

_She kissed his forehead, brushing his hair, slightly shorter now, back from the skin to cool him down slightly. "Sleep, Tristan," she shushed him. "I'll still be here when you're eyes open again. I'll always be right here." _

He kept his eyes closed, breaking himself from the trance he'd let himself delve into. His years in the army were hard on both of them. To be honest they were what tore them apart. But the days she spent in that hospital with him were probably some of the best days of his life. Because he was with her, and she loved him, and they were going to be together forever, and nothing else mattered. He decided the day she walked out of his life, or more like the day he let her go, that fairy tales were a lie. Or maybe, just his fairy tales.

Tristan sighed, ruffling his own hair firmly and sighing deeply. He opened his eyes. He opened his eyes, and she wasn't there. She wasn't standing in front of him the way he imagined she would be. She wasn't there. So obviously she couldn't tell him how much she loved him, how much she wanted him, how much she'd missed him. That she loved him as much as he'd always hoped for. That she needed him the way he needed her. He'd probably never hear that again.

Tristan sighed deeply, his hands automatically going into his hair as if on instinct. He thought about everything in those few moments. He watched his life with her as if it was a movie. And the next scene played out behind his closed eyelids.

_It was pouring rain outside as he watched her run. She ran away from him, away from her parents and their arguing, away from her grandparents' mediating, away from everything and everyone. He turned to face them all, rage fuming through his entire body. "What the hell is wrong with you people?" he hollered. He didn't wait for a response, merely flung the door open, slamming it behind him as he ran out into the rain after her and the rest of the room noticed for the first time, that she wasn't there anymore._

_He ran as fast as he could, trying to catch her. He knew she wouldn't run for long, she never was one for running. He found her quickly. She'd made it as far as the steps of the town gazebo and had collapsed into what seemed to be a flowing river of the rainfall. He came closer, the rain falling hard around them and not letting up in the slightest. He knelt down beside her and held his arms out to her. "Come here," he told her, gently but firm enough for her to look up at him. She shook her head. _

"_Don't do this. Not now, don't shy away from me now. Please." _

_She pulled back, sitting up with her legs hugged tightly into her chest. "We can't defy normality forever, Tristan," she mumbled._

_He looked at her quickly, his face not hiding any of the hurt that he felt. "Yes we can. Yes we can, Rory. I love you."_

_She shook her head. "Maybe love isn't enough." _

_Tristan stood, backing away and shaking his head, water droplets falling from his hair to mix with the still pouring rain. "Don't say that. Not now, not after everything. Not when I need you more than I've ever needed anyone." _

_He couldn't tell now if the water drops on her face where rain or tears but she shook them away. "Didn't you listen, Tristan! I can't do this! I can't be my parents! I can't, and I won't!" _

_Tristan pulled her up to a standing position and shook her shoulders. "We are not your parents, Rory! We aren't and we never will be! I'm not Christopher! I'm not going anywhere, I love you! I won't leave you!"_

_She turned her head away from him and he pulled her back to face him. "I love you too, Tristan. You know that I do. I love you more than anything in this world. But look around us. We're hurting everyone and everything. My family is falling apart because of us. You're father hates me, you're losing him because of me. We're destroying our world, and hurting the people that love us." _

_Tristan shook his head. "No! No, Rory we aren't doing anything wrong! Why can't you see that? You're family is not our fault. Its not your fault. Lorelai loves you, Rory. Chris loves you. You're grandparents love you. Every single one of those people want you to be happy and I'm what makes you happy and you know that as well as I know that I can't ever be happy without you. And I don't give a damn if my father hates anyone. My father is an ass and I've been losing him for a long damn time! You are my entire world, Rory. I love you, you love me, we want to be together. Your family is not your fault. We are not your parents and we never will be. And damn it, Rory you know all this as well as I do. But if you need me to stand here in the pouring rain and tell you exactly why I love you and exactly why I need you and exactly why we should be together, then I'll get pneumonia standing out here cold and soaking wet and tell you over and over again. I love you, Rory Gilmore. Nothing on this whole god damn earth is ever going to change that. If you're parents don't like me, fine! I'll try harder if that's what you want. If you don't want me then just say so. But you know as well as I do that it would be a lie. Because you want me. I want you, I love you. And you love me back. And you know it. _

_Rory tucked her sopping hair behind her ear and sobbed, throwing herself into his arms and clinging to his neck. "I love you. I love you. You know that I love you, I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you but I was so scared of becoming my parents and I was so afraid of losing everything and then losing you too. I love you, Tristan. I'm so sorry." She mumbled on and buried her face into his chest sobbing and mumbling her sorrow and her love for him. And he held her against him in the pouring rain until they were laughing again and the rain began to soften._

"_I don't want to go home tonight," she whispered and he nodded. _

"_Okay," was all he said and he took her hand. _

As Tristan's eyes opened he let his head loll back and his eyes made contact with the ceiling of the gazebo, tracing it's patterns to calm himself a bit before looking back ahead of him.

"I figured you'd show up one of these days."

The voice coming from the face in front of him shouldn't have surprised him. He should have known that she would've expected him. "Lorelai," he nodded to her lightly, no emotions showing on his face.

She rolled her eyes and he noticed, not for the first time, how close a resemblance she bore to her daughter. It almost pained him to meet her eyes. "Tristan," she mocked, mirroring his emotionless tone.

He smiled softly, unable to help it as she teased him. She'd always enjoyed teasing him. And most of the time he teased her back. It was a healthy mother/daughter's boyfriend banter they'd always shared. But he couldn't bring himself to do anymore than smile and nod. He loved Lorelai as much as he loved his own mother. And he couldn't seem to put on his "tough guy" face. Not with her.

"How have you been, kid?" She smiled down at him and he forced his own smile back to her.

"I've been good," he lied and she raised her eyebrows, catching the lie before it was even completely out of his mouth.

"Don't lie to me, Tristan. I know you better than that."

He nodded, smirking lightly. "You talked to Jess didn't you?"

She shrugged. "Now do you really think that I could reveal all my secrets to you silly, silly boy?" She laughed and he chuckled lightly, shaking his head.

"No, I suppose not."

She nodded. "That's right." She studied him for a few moments and her face softened to him. "How have you really been, Tristan?"

He shook his head with a deep sigh. "Honestly?" He raised an eyebrow and then frowned. "Awful," he admitted.

Lorelai nodded. "I figured as much," she said sorrowfully. "I've tried talking to her about what happened. About you, about anything really," she shook her head in remorse. "She just won't talk to me."

Tristan nodded, a pained expression on his features as if hearing about her had burned him. "I don't know what to do, Lorelai. I miss her. My life is just a train wreck without her, but she doesn't want me."

Lorelai shook her head. "I don't think that's it, Tristan. I think she's afraid."

"Of me!? That's crazy!"

"No, honey. Not of you. I think she's afraid of how much she loves you. You broke her heart when you didn't come home that extra six months. She couldn't let you break her. She's too strong to show people that she's broken. But she loves you. Trust me, she loves you."


	3. Bring The Rain

Chapter Three: Bring The Rain

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls (obviously.)

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One hour later and Tristan was sitting on the same couch he'd sat on, laid on, slept on, made out on, and even used as a defense mechanism once or twice. He had his head tipped against the back of the couch, his hair appearing to be combed by his hands over and over again, until it seemed to stick up and out all on it's own. He let out a deep sigh. Being in her house wasn't really helping. Everywhere he looked there was a memory. Movie nights, sprawled out on the living room floor, sitting on the porch swing and talking about the puppy they would get when they were married, fighting over who got the last can of soda in the refrigerator, anything and everything that had happened in this house played through his memory in bits and pieces. It was slowly driving him crazy.

"How you holding up in here, kid?" Lorelei asked, re-entering the living room with a fresh cup of coffee in her right hand and a soda for him in her left.

He sighed dramatically and shook his head, taking the soda can from her. "Thanks," he mumbled. "I never was a big coffee fan."

She grinned. "That I remembered."

He nodded, the ghost of a smile on his lips as he remembered the biggest argument he'd ever had with Lorelei Gilmore, about the need for coffee and his distaste for it.

"Tristan," she started, getting his attention. "Have you tried to call?" He shook his head slowly, gazing at the carpet. "Maybe you should,"

"_She_ left _me_, Lorelei," he cut her off.

She sighed. "And you let her."

Tristan let out a dark chuckle. "I didn't know what else to do. She broke my heart; she walked out of my life without any warning at all. She broke me into so many damn pieces. No phone call is going to fix that."

"Oh, honey," Lorelei frowned. "I know your hurting, I do. But so is she."

"Is she with him?" Tristan asked, spitting out the last word like it left a foul taste in his mouth.

Lorelei sighed again. "She doesn't love him, Tristan."

He shook his head. "I can't. I can't. I don't know what to do, but I cannot dial that phone and hear his voice on the other end. It would kill me, Lorelei."

"You have to talk to her, Tristan."

He nodded. "I know. I just can't bring myself to call. I can't risk hearing him answer her cell phone, or hear him in the back ground. I can't do it, Lorelei. I just can't."

"Where are you staying while you're here?" She asked, deciding it would probably be best to just drop anything having to do with Rory right about now.

He chuckled. "Honestly, I'm not really sure. I just got in the car and ended up here. It wasn't really a planned vacation."

She smiled. "Well you know that you're welcome to stay here."

He nodded. "I know. I don't think I should though. I mean, if she decided to come home for the weekend or something. I might give Jess a call."

"You could always stay at home," she offered.

He rolled his eyes. "Not a chance in hell. If I can help it I'm going to make sure that my parents don't have any idea at all that I'm anywhere near Hartford."

Lorelei laughed. "I figured as much. I think Jess is at the diner helping Luke this afternoon. You should stop in; I think Luke misses you," she grinned.

Tristan scoffed. "Yeah, I'll bet he does," he said, sarcasm lacing his tone.

"He loved you!"

"He threatened me at least once or twice a week," Tristan countered and Lorelei merely waved her hand in dismissal.

"That's just Luke's way of saying 'I love you' he didn't mean it," she smirked and Tristan rolled his eyes at her, not in the mood to lose an argument.

"So Jess has his own place now?" he asked, attempting to change the subject.

"Yep. He's quite the town success; author, columnist, and short order cook all in one," she joked. "But yes, he has his own place. And really hes very successful. Luke's really proud of him."

Tristan smiled. "Luke was worried for a while there. I think he thought Jess was going to be Wal Mart employee of the month for the rest of his life." They both smiled in remembrance of the more rebellious, teenage Jess Mariano. "I think I'll head over to Luke's and see if I can catch up with Jess."

Lorelei nodded. "I'll walk with you. I feel like a burger anyway." Tristan nodded his acceptance and stood, pulling his jacket back over his shoulders.

A silent few minutes later Tristan opened the door to Luke's, motioning Lorelei inside ahead of him. She led him inside the diner, clunking her purse down onto the counter to get Luke's attention.

"Luuuuke! Jess! I brought a surprise!"

Luke came out of the kitchen wiping his hands with a towel and Jess came down the stairs at the sound of his name.

Luke automatically made eye contact with Tristan and tossed his towel on the counter to reach his hand out for Tristan to shake, which he did. "Tristan," Luke said finally.

Tristan nodded. "Hey, Luke," he smiled a little. "How've you been?"

Luke sighed and raised his eyebrows. "I think I should be asking you that question, kid."

Tristan just shrugged, obviously not open to discussing the topic in any more depth. And Luke just nodded, not pushing any further. Jess took the semi-awkward silence as his cue to speak.

"Hey, Tristan," he acknowledged, gaining Tristan's attention.

He sighed before responding and when he spoke, his voice was filled with remorse about their last encounter. "Hey, Jess." He paused, not knowing if he should apologize or if Jess was over it, not able to decide, he chose to just stop speaking.

"We're cool," Jess confirmed, as if sensing his thoughts. He turned to Luke and tossed his rag over the counter. "Hey Luke, I'm gonna take off okay? Just give me a call tomorrow if you're short handed or something."

Luke nodded. "Sure."

Jess grabbed his jacket and slung it over his shoulders. "You want to take a walk?" He asked, glancing at Tristan, and the look on his face said taking a walk with him wasn't really much of a question.

Tristan sighed. "Yeah," he muttered. "Let's go."

A few steps away from Luke's, Jess glanced up at Tristan and frowned. "What're you doing here, man?"

Tristan chuckled. "Asks the guy who attempted to drag me here kicking and screaming not even three weeks ago."

"Which is exactly why I'm asking," Jess pressed. "You have to give me something here, man. I come down there two weeks ago and you're a mess. You aren't even sober. You tried to pick a fight with me and I'm half your fucking size," he shook his head. "So what the hell is going on with you, Tristan."

Tristan shrugged lamely. "I don't know, Jess. I'm just a mess. I can't put the pieces back together. And you want to know what's more screwed up?" He didn't wait for an answer. "I'm not sure I want to."

Jess looked confused and shook his head slightly. "What do you mean?"

Tristan sighed. "I mean, I know that I'm a mess, I'm a shattered wreck of a person. I know that. But I keep thinking that maybe, just maybe she'll come back to me. She'll realize that I'm the one. She'll remember, or come to terms, or forget, or whatever the hell she needs to do to know that I'm the one she belongs with. So until that happens, I'm broken."

"Look, Tristan, I get it, I do. You're miserable without her, I know. And it sucks that she's with someone else. But you have to start living, man. You can't keep going through life like this. You can't just live on alcohol and a broken heart. That's exactly what happened to my mom. And I never want to see anyone else in my life end up like my mom."

Tristan nodded, not wanting to discuss this any further. "Look, I guess that's why I'm here. I just needed a friend. I needed to force myself to face the music in a sense. So I just went out driving and ended up here."

"And how long are you here for?" Jess asked, raising an eyebrow.

Tristan chuckled lightly. "That's actually why I came to Luke's. I was wondering if I could crash with you for a while."

Jess nodded. "Anytime you want, man, you know that. But what about work? Isn't daddy's company gonna miss you? They just got you back, you know."

He sighed. "I haven't been there much anyway lately. Ever since I got back it's been about the way it was when you found me. Ever since she left anyway."

Jess nodded. "Well you're always welcome to stay with me. It'd be kinda nice actually. I don't get much company."

"Thanks, Jess."

He nodded again and smiled. "You've really changed you know that?"

Tristan sighed and nodded. "Rory will do that to a person," he said. "Whether it's because you have her or because you lost her."

"You're very right."

Tristan nodded. "Yeah," he mumbled, more to himself than to Jess.

They walked the rest of the way to Jess' in a comfortable silence. It was comfortable only because Tristan wasn't planning to talk and Jess decided it would be better to just let him think than to press for any information. He would press him later, for now he'd let Tristan have some peace for his thoughts, which Jess assumed weren't peaceful in the slightest.

When they got to Jess' they both tossed their jackets on the coat rack by the door. The house was smaller, but decorated perfectly 'Jess'. There were books everywhere, on the mantle above the fireplace, on the desk in the corner, in the three bookcases lining the wall by the window.

"Quite the collection," Tristan commented, taking in his surroundings.

Jess smiled. "What can I say, I'm an avid reader."

Tristan laughed. "So I've learned. Oliver Twist still you're favorite or have you moved on in your great literary journey?" he teased.

Jess chuckled. "Always stick with the classics, my friend."

He nodded.

"You want a soda or something?"

Tristan shook his head. "I'm good, thanks. I think I'll take a shower if that's cool."

Jess nodded his approval. "Yeah, sure. Is your stuff at Lorelei's?"

He nodded back. "I'll get it in the morning."

"I can go get it for you if you like," Jess offered. "I need to get a couple things at the grocery anyway."

Tristan nodded his head again. "Yeah, thanks."

"No problem. Enjoy your shower, I'll be back with your clothes by the time you're finished."

Jess put his jacket back on and pointed Tristan in the direction of the bathroom. Tristan walked down the hallway Jess had pointed to, opening what he assumed was a linen closet to grab a towel. He assumed correctly and headed into the bathroom. He tossed the towel on the counter by the sink and took off his shirt, unconsciously tracing the scars across his chest and ribs with his eyes in the mirror. He shook his head, not wanting to relive the memories tonight. He started the water before removing the rest of his clothing and stepping in the shower.

He let the warm water fall over him and took deep breaths, trying to relax, clear his mind. It didn't really work all that well, but then, it never really had. His thoughts always went back to her face. He remembered the last time he'd heard her voice. How broken she sounded, how broken he felt. _I love you. But I can't do this anymore. _

Those words haunted him. He hated thinking of her breaking voice, of the tears running down her face. It was the day he got back. The trip was almost numbing. He'd read her letter a week before he was discharged. She loved him, she'd said it sixteen times in the letter. He'd counted, he'd read the letter over and over again. She loved him but she couldn't be with him. And it still didn't seem real. She couldn't have just given up, she couldn't be with someone else, it just couldn't be real. But the second he saw her face, the second her heard her voice break, he knew it was real and he knew that he would never, ever be the same again. Because of her, because of the war, because he loved her more than anything in the world, because of everything.


	4. Never Thought We'd Be Here

-I know, I know. It's been forever!-

Chapter Four: Never Thought We'd Be Here

Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls (obviously)

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Tristan stepped out of the shower to see his clothes lying on the counter. He dressed quickly and ran a towel and his fingers through his hair before going to join Jess in the living room.

When he entered the room, Jess was flopped on the couch, reading. His legs were propped on the coffee table and his face set in a concentrated frown. "Thanks," Tristan said, breaking him away from the novel. "For getting my stuff."

Jess nodded. "Not a problem." He picked up the scrap of paper from the coffee table and marked his place in the book, closing it gently and removing his feet from the table, replacing them with the book. "How was your shower?" He asked.

Tristan chuckled. "Warm," he said, a grin spread across his face.

Jess smiled and shook his head. "So what's up, man? Are we gonna' talk about this whole thing or are we just going to be avoiding it the whole time you're here?"

Tristan shrugged. "What do you want to know?"

"Well what happened between me slamming you up against a brick wall and today, for starters."

Tristan shrugged again. "I don't know man," he sighed. "It's like I just couldn't do it anymore, you know? I mean, I've been miserable since the day I read her letter. And I'm just sick of being miserable. I guess I thought maybe if I got away from my apartment and her pictures and her letters and everything for a while," he paused to take a deep breath. "Maybe I could get myself back to where I should be. Maybe I could be okay again."

"But," Jess provided.

Tristan smirked. "But, I got in the car and I ended up here. And being here isn't going to make her go away. It's going to bring her right to me."

Jess nodded. "Maybe that's what you need, Tristan. Maybe being here and seeing her and her seeing you will fix something. Maybe it'll help."

Tristan shrugged. "Maybe. I don't know, man. Being here is already tough. It's like every little thing reminds me of her you know? Hell even _I_ remind me of her."

Jess laughed. "You have to talk to her. This won't just go away. You know that."

He nodded. "I know."

They were both quiet for a few minutes before Tristan spoke again. "You know something," Jess raised his eyebrows, as if to keep him talking. "I hate him."

"Logan?"

Tristan nodded slowly. "I don't even really know the guy. I've met him a couple of times and my parents' functions or what not. He seems like a great guy, like he'd treat her right, like he'd challenge her. He seems like the perfect suitor, and I hate him."

Jess shrugged. "If it makes you feel any better, I don't particularly care for him."

Tristan frowned. "No?"

"No." Jess grinned. "If you ask me, which she hasn't, I think he's a substitute for you. And a poor one at that."

Tristan frowned again. "Explain?"

"He's a rich kid. Taking over Daddy's big multimillion dollar corporation. He has no choice. His parents are pushing him into the business. He's a blonde, real quick with a comeback, quite the smart ass when he wants to be."

Tristan nodded. "That does sound a little like me."

Jess sighed. "Yeah, he's a little like you. He lives the society brat lifestyle. He's not you. You, my friend, survived the army. This kid? Wouldn't last through boot camp. You have memorized Rory inside and out. Logan doesn't have a clue. He's a fast talker but he can't keep up with her the way you can. He's not you, man."

"Why are you telling me all this, Jess?"

Jess shook his head. "I'm telling you because I want you to know that you'll get her back. She loves you. She doesn't love him. Not like that."

Tristan nodded. "Yeah, okay." He breathed a deep sigh and sunk down into the armchair, covering his face with his hands. "So now what?"

"You get your girl back."

"This whole thing is crazy, Jess. It was never supposed to be like this. I was supposed to come home from the war and we were supposed to get married and have three kids and a dog. We were supposed to be perfect and happy. It was all supposed to be okay again."

Jess gave a sympathetic smile. "Life's tough, man. Love's tougher."

Tristan chuckled, cursing under his breath and raking his fingers through his hair, a nervous habit he could never kick. "I could use some air," he mumbled, rising from his chair. "I'm gonna' take a walk."

"You want some company?" Jess raised an eyebrow at him.

He shook his head. "I'm okay. I just need a little fresh air and some time to think."

"Yeah, okay. I'll leave the front door unlocked." Jess picked up his book and opened to the scrap of paper he'd used to mark his place. "Oh, and Tristan?"

He turned and cocked an eyebrow in anticipation. "Hmm?"

"Don't even think about coming back wasted. I swear to God I'll beat the living hell out of you."

Tristan chuckled, raising his hands in defense. "Trust me, I've been there enough lately. Drunk and lonely is the last place I want to be."

Jess nodded. "Like I said, I'll leave the door unlocked."

Tristan nodded, grabbed his jacket from the hook by the door and walked out into the cool night air.

He took a deep breath and savored the feeling of the cool air hitting his lungs. He loved that feeling, the way it stings and refreshes you all at the same time. He walked down the streets of Stars Hollow with nothing but memories playing in his head once again.

The whole town held pieces of their story. A story he sincerely hoped was not over. As he walked he passed so many places that held their memories. Some happy, some sad, some perfect.

The time that they built snow men in the park and stayed out so long in the cold that her nose turned bright red. He could still remember exactly what she looked like that day. She wore her favorite pair of blue jeans and the brown sweater her grandmother had given her for Christmas, under his heavy blue winter coat. It was about four sizes too big for her and came down almost to her knees, but she wouldn't take it off. She insisted that it smelled like Tristan and snow. The bright red scarf around her neck didn't match the coat at all but it was a gift from her father and she never wore any other scarf.

He smiled to himself, thinking of how adorable she was that day with her mismatched clothing and her face red from the cold. Her hair stuck out every which way from underneath her hat and she had given him the biggest grin in the world when he bought her hot chocolate. She was the most beautiful thing in the entire world. And he remembered thinking how God damned lucky he was that she was his.

That, was a perfect day. There were so many perfect days that he could never choose his favorite. But that day was one he would never forget. It was the day he fell in love with her.

They had finished their snowman and Rory flopped onto the snow with a sigh, leaning back to look up at the wintery sky. He chuckled at her and moved to join her on the ground. All of a sudden she started to laugh. She just laughed and laughed. He had no idea why she was laughing but her insane behavior made him start to laugh too. And they just laid there in the snow, laughing until tears stained Rory's cheeks.

She rolled over to smile at him and it was at that moment, he knew. Her cheeks were red and the stray hair that escaped her hat fell over her eyes. She had the biggest grin he'd ever seen. He never could think about the snow the same way again. It was always magical. She believed that if you made a wish at the sight of the first snow it would come true. And so far, she'd been right.

He'd told her he loved her that day and he didn't think he'd ever seen her so excited and scared at the same time. She'd given him that wide smile that he loved so much and wrapped herself up in his arms. "I love you too." She'd mumbled against his chest. It was one of the best moment in his life.

He sighed now, raking his fingers through his hair as he once again passed by the town gazebo. He considered taking a seat but decided against it and headed in the direction of Lorelei's.

When he arrived at the familiar drive way he took the steps quickly and knocked his signature rhythm on the front door. Lorelei opened the door a few seconds later and smiled at him. "I knew it was you."

He shrugged. "The knock always gives me away."

She nodded. "Rory used to hate that when she was fighting with you. She always said it was an annoying and stupid thing to do."

He smiled. "She loved it."

Lorelei nodded again. "Come on in."

He followed her into the living room and took a seat on the couch as Lorelei lowered herself into the chair. "So what brings you by, Tristan?"

He sighed, wondering how to start. He shook his head, he'd just have to come right out with it. "I want her back, Lorelei. I want Rory back. I can't be without her, and I know that." Lorelei sighed and opened her mouth to speak but he cut her off. "And I know that you know that too."

She sighed. "I know that you love her, Tristan. And I know that she loves you too. But this isn't gonna' be a walk in the park for you. You have to fight for her."

"I can do that! I'm ready to do that!"

She gave him a small smile. "And if she doesn't want to be fought for?"

Tristan shook his head. "She does, Lorelei. She loves me, you said it yourself."

She nodded. "She does. She does love you. But sometimes just loving you isn't enough."

He shook his head again violently. He had to make her understand. "It is! It is enough. She loves me and I love her and if we have that then we can make this work. I can make this work."

"We know she loves you, Tristan. But does she trust you? That's your biggest problem. Rory is a stubborn person. She's still hurt."

"That isn't my fault!" He shouted. "It's not my fault that I couldn't come home. I would've been on the next flight back here if I had a choice! Dammit." He sighed, running his hands over his face and leaning back against the couch.

Lorelei looked over to him, waiting for him to speak again.

He ran his fingers up over his forehead and through his hair. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean," he trailed off.

She nodded. "I know. And I know that this is hard. And I know that it wasn't your fault and that you love her, but you have to realize how hard it was for her to have to sit around and wait for you for another six months. And to think about what could happen. She was worried that you would have to stay longer, that you would fall out of love with her, realize how much you didn't need her."

Tristan looked up. "That's insane, Lorelei. I could never fall out of love with Rory. She is the only person that I will ever want to be with. Look at me. How could she think that I don't need her. I'm a mess without her."

Lorelei shrugged. "She made a mistake. People make mistakes. But Rory is too stubborn to admit that. She's too stubborn to tell even herself that she knows how much you need her and how much you love her, and that she loves you and needs you just as much."

"Then what about him? If she loves me and needs me then why is she with someone else?"

"Tristan! Don't you get it? Logan is her substitute for you. Blonde hair, rich daddy, family business, society life. Logan is just a poor substitute for you."

He shook his head. "It shouldn't be this way. She's supposed to be with me!"

Lorelei nodded. "Then tell her that! Tell her all the things you told me. If you're meant to be, and I have a pretty good feeling that you are, it'll work out. I promise you, Tristan, it's going to be okay."

Tristan sighed again. "Thanks for listening." He smiled over at her.

Lorelei nodded. "Anytime, kid."

Tristan sat up and leaned his elbows on his knees. "I have to talk to her."

She nodded. "When?"

He let out a deep breath. "Tonight."

Lorelei raised her eyebrows and nodded slowly. "If I don't do it soon I'm just risking losing her forever. And I can't do that. I can't."

She nodded again. "Good luck." She smiled.

Tristan laughed. "I'm afraid I'll need it," he muttered.

He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. How was he supposed to do this? Barge in and say "Hey! You belong with me!" and expect her to just jump into his arms. He didn't know how to win her back. He didn't know how to make sure she knew how much he loved her and how much he needed her. And he was afraid. He couldn't lose her again. He just couldn't.


	5. Blurry

*Okay, so I realize now that I went back and re-read the whole story, that I created two scenes where Tristan says he fell in love with Rory for the first time. I apologize for that..but honestly, I think I like it like that. I'm sorry to everyone who doesn't like it or if it bothers anyone but I'm not going to change it. I also apologize if you didn't even notice it and I just pointed it out to you. =]. But anyhow..I'm updating really fast now just to make you all happy! So don't be too upset with me for that little goof up.*

Chapter Five: Blurry

Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls (obviously.)

-&-

Tristan paced back and forth in Jess' living room, his hands constantly in his hair. Jess approached the living room from the kitchen and leaned his shoulder against the wall, folding his arms over his chest. He chuckled at Tristan's antics and took a sip from the beer he held in his right hand.

Tristan turned around and sighed. "I'm glad my misery entertains you," he said, sarcasm lacing his voice.

Jess grinned. "It's not your misery that entertains me, man. It's the fact that you're wearing a hole in my floor."

Tristan threw his head back and groaned. "I don't know how to do this, Jess. I don't know how to win her back."

"You've done it before Tristan," Jess pointed out, sipping from his beer bottle again. Tristan looked up and frowned his confusion. Jess rolled his eyes. "Dean," he trailed off, raising an eyebrow.

"Dean was different. He was her first boyfriend, we were sixteen. This is so much more complicated than that. I wasn't trying to win her back from Dean, I was just trying to win her in the first place."

Jess nodded. "Nobody said this was gonna' be easy, man. It's gonna' be really hard. But sometimes you have to fight for what you want, you know?"

Tristan sighed and let his fingers rake through his hair again. For some reason the gesture comforted him, made him feel a little bit better. It was a false comfort, he knew. But it was habit.

"What about the ring?"

Tristan's head shot up and he looked to Jess. "What about it?"

"Do you have it?" he asked.

Tristan nodded. "Yeah," he sighed. "I have it."

He sat himself down firmly on the couch, remembering just exactly why he had it.

"_I love you, Tristan." She said it like the words burned her mouth. "I want you to know that." _

_He couldn't move, he couldn't speak, he couldn't do anything. He just stood there, his bags still hanging from his shoulders, his eyes not able to meet hers. He hadn' t expected her to be here. He thought that after her letter she would be gone, not sitting at his kitchen table when he walked through the door._

_He knew she was crying without looking at her. He could hear it in her voice. He never needed to be looking at her to know what she was feeling. He just always knew. _

"_He's a good guy, Tris. He really is. He's so good to me. He," she paused, shaking her head as if it would make the tears stop. "He loves me." _

_She didn't say anything after that, she didn't make a move towards or away from him. She just stood there, waiting. _

"_And I don't!?" He finally spoke. "I don't love you!? I've been in love with you since I was sixteen years old, Rory. I love you. I'm in love with you. You know that!" _

_She bit back a sob, but he heard it anyway. She shrugged her shoulders. "Sometimes love isn't enough." _

_He shook his head, dropping his bags and taking a few steps forward so he was close enough to touch her. "No. No, that isn't true. We can do this, Rory. We can make this work. I love you. You love me."_

_She shook her head again. "It's too late." _

_He shook his head violently and grabbed her by the arms, holding her firmly in front of him. "It's not! It's not too late! I can't do this without you!" _

_Rory let out a sob and pushed herself out of his arms. He saw her right hand move to her left and she slipped the ring off her finger. She closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip and he backed away from her, a horrified look on his face. _

_She opened her eyes and he met her gaze. It was desperate, pleading. "Tris," she started. _

"_No. Mary, please. Don't do that." He shook his head, tears now falling from his own eyes as she took a step towards him, reaching out and taking his hand. She opened his fingers and he felt his eyes shut tight. _

"_I will always love you," she whispered, placing the ring into his open hand. She closed his fingers over the ring and squeezed his hand tight for just a second before letting go. "But it's just not enough." _

_She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek quickly, pushing away from him and moving towards the door. He heard the door shut and he fell to his knees. Everything he ever loved was gone. Everything that mattered to him in the world had left him there, alone, and broken. _

"Hey." Jess' words broke him from his memory. "You okay?"

Tristan shook his head. "Not at all," he said.

Jess nodded. "You have the ring," he confirmed.

Tristan pulled the chain around his neck out from inside his shirt. Rory's engagement ring hung from the chain. He looked over at Jess. "I have it," he repeated.

"What are you gonna do?"

"I don't know, Jess. I really don't know. I have to do something. But she knows how I feel. She knows that I love her, she knows that I want to make this work. What else can I say?"

"She made a mistake, man. And Rory doesn't make mistakes, so on the off chance that it happens, it's one of the hardest things in the world for her to admit that she made the wrong choice," Jess shrugged.

Tristan nodded. "But how do I make up for that? I do I prove to her that leaving me was a mistake?"

Jess shrugged again. "She loves you. You just have to remind her that you're the one for her."

Tristan let his head fall back against the couch. _Remind her that you're the one for her. _How in the hell was he supposed to do that? He closed his eyes, thinking about their relationship, about the times he'd had to prove himself, to overcome his 'playboy status', to make her know how much he loved her. And then he knew exactly what he had to do.

Twenty minutes later with no explanation to Jess he was standing on Lorelei's front porch again. She opened the door and smiled. "You figure out what you need to do?"

Tristan nodded. "Do you still have it?"

Lorelei nodded back to him. "She told me to throw it away, but I figured you'd come back for it."

He chuckled. "You know you could've just told me when I was over here freaking out earlier. It would've saved me a lot of time and stress."

She grinned. "You had to figure it out by yourself, Tristan. It was one of her terms when she gave it to me. She said if you ever needed it, you had to come to me yourself to ask for it."

He sighed and nodded. "I knew, it just took me a minute to remember."

_It was Rory's eighteenth birthday. They sat against the tool shed that she once called home, his back against the wooden walls and her back against his chest. A book lay opened on the blanket beside them. He held her against him, his arm around her waist while his other hand stroked her hair. His mouth was pressed against her head, his eyes closed. _

"_Tristan," she whispered. _

_He opened his eyes and murmured a 'hmm' against her hair. _

"_Do you know how I know that we're meant to be together?" _

_She felt him shake his head. "How?" he asked and she smiled. _

"_The way you read to me."_

_He moved her away just far enough so he could look at her. "What?" he said, with a chuckle. _

_She nodded. "When you read Pride and Prejudice and you say my favorite lines and read my favorite parts your voice changes. It's like you're talking to me instead of reading someone else's words. Especially my favorite line in the whole book. You know what it is and you always read it the same." _

_He smiled. "Only you would notice something like that. But I still don't understand how that means we're meant to be." _

_She leaned against him and smiled. "Because we were made for the story. You and I were never supposed to end up together. We were never supposed to fall in love but we did. All the great romances are that way. They aren't supposed to work but they do. We have everything against us, your parents, our pasts, our reputations. But we defy the odds." _

_He smiled into her hair and pulled her closer. "I love you." _

"_I love you too," she whispered. "Do you remember that day in the rain? When you told me that we weren't my parents?" _

_He nodded. _

"_You said, 'I'm not Christopher. I'm not going anywhere.' I didn't know what you meant then, but I know now. We're meant to be together. Everything is against us and I still feel like your arms are where I belong." _

_He chuckled. "I've never questioned us. I've never even considered that you weren't the one for me. It's just the way it was supposed to be."_

_She sighed. "Someone should write a love story about us." _

Tristan followed Lorelei to the hall closet and watched her remove boxes of pictures, the box that he knew contained his letters to Rory, and finally she pulled out a battered book with a ribbon to mark the place he needed. "Thank you," he said as she handed him the worn copy.

She smiled. "She loves you. She deserves to have you because you're the one that makes her happy. She just needs to be reminded."

He nodded, the ghost of a smile gracing his features as he ran his fingers over the barely visible title. He opened the book to the place he needed. Tracing the words and the worn ribbon. He prayed to God that this was what she wanted.

He parked about a block away from her Hartford apartment. The walk would do him some good, he thought. He had the ring around his neck and the worn book under his arm. He walked the block to her apartment and the doorman let him in. He knew almost everyone in her building by now, though they were rarely there. She had spent most of her time at Tristan's. But she kept the place because her grandparents had given it to her and she didn't want to offend them by moving out.

He took the stairs instead of the elevator to give himself a little more time. This was the most nerve racking thing he'd done in forever. He hadn't been this nervous since asking her to marry him. And even then he hadn't been quite this nervous.

He took the stairs two at a time, willing himself to keep moving and to not turn around. He reached the top floor and approached her door. He took a few deep breaths and knocked. His signature knock.

Rory heard a knock at the door and it sent her heart racing. Only one person ever knocked like that. She stood in front of the door for a second, preparing herself.

Tristan ran his fingers through his hair as he waited for her to open the door. She would know that it was him. She always did. Just as he was about to turn around and make his way back to the elevator he heard the lock clicking and as the door opened he was face to face with his Mary.

"Tristan, what,"

He cut her off. "I needed to see you. I needed to get this out. I can't do this anymore. I can't go through my life like this."

"Tristan," she started again, confusion evident in her face.

"Rory, stop. Okay? Just stop talking. Let me get this all out."

She nodded, backing up enough for him to enter the apartment. He followed her inside and she looked up at him, waiting for him to explain himself.

"For months I have been absolutely miserable. I've done nothing but brood, and think about you, and want you, and remember every little fucking thing about you. And I'm done. I can't do that anymore, Rory. I can't. I love you. I want to be with you. And dammit, Rory! I'm supposed to be with you!"

She shook her head, preparing to speak but he didn't let her start.

"And you know that! You know that we're supposed to be together. You know that I can't be with anyone else, that I've never even imagined that you weren't the one for me. That's never even crossed my mind."

"Tristan, please, this isn't,"

"Stop it, Rory. Stop pretending like you don't care."

"I'm with Logan." She shook her head. "I can't do this."

"You love me. And you're supposed to be with me, not Logan. And you know that." He stood in front of her, completely vulnerable, the book in hand, ring around his neck, heart on his sleeve.

"Tristan, please."

He shook his head at her. "Tell me you don't love me. Tell me right now that you aren't in love with me, and I'll walk back out that door and never come back."

Rory's eyes welled with tears and she looked on, hopelessly, but not making any move to speak.

Tristan swallowed the lump in his throat and took a step closer to her. He held up the book and she let her gaze wander over it before her eyes met his own, the tears falling freely now. Tristan took a deep breath. "They walked on, without knowing in what direction. There was too much to be thought, and felt, and said, for attention to any other objects."

Rory's hand went to cover her mouth in attempt to keep a sob in. She took a shaky breath, tears streaming down her face. She couldn't believe he'd remembered. He had to have gone to her mother's to get the book, and he hadn't even used it. He knew the line by heart. But then, she knew that he did. He always more spoke it than read it to her.

It was her favorite line from her favorite book. It was the place that the worn ribbon marked in the battered copy of Pride and Prejudice that Tristan had in his hand. It was the reason that she knew that they were meant to be. It was everything that could both save and break her all at once.

Tristan held his gaze on Rory, wondering what was going through her mind. Should he speak? Should he let her speak? He had no idea. He didn't know how to do this. He'd never lost her before, so he'd never had to win her back.

"You remembered," she finally whispered.

He nodded. "I could never forget." He shrugged. "Just like I could never forget that this is why you know you're meant to be with me."

"You went to my mother's then. To get the book?"

He nodded again. "She was more than pleased to hand it over." He smirked lightly and her breath caught in her throat. She loved that smirk.

"I'm sure," she mumbled. "My mother always did love you."

He nodded, his face becoming serious once again. "Rory, I love you."

She let her eyes close tightly and took another shaky breath. "Tristan, please," she begged again. "Please don't do this to me."

Tristan shook his head. "Damn it, Rory! You know that you're supposed to be with me! You know that! Can you really stand here and tell me that you're in love with this guy? That he's the one that you want? Can you honestly tell me that you love him more than you love me?"

"Tristan, what am I supposed to do? Logan loves me! He's a great guy. And he's here, he's here for the long haul. I can count on him!"

Tristan let the book fall from his hand to the floor. "You can not hold that against me! You know that if I had a choice I would've been back here in a fucking second! I didn't choose to stay, and you know that! You know that I wanted to be here. I wanted to be planning our wedding with you. I wanted to fall asleep with you in my arms every night. I wanted to be next to you and not just dreaming about you and you fucking know all of that!"

"Do you know how hard it was for me to just sit around and wait for you, Tristan! Do you have any idea!" She shook her head at him. "To never know when you would come home! It was killing me. I spent every single second missing you and worrying about whether or not you were safe!"

"You gave up on me, Rory! You gave up! But I'm still here, and I still love you and I still want to be with you!" Tristan raked his fingers through his hair.

She was crying, tears streaming down her cheeks and she wiped furiously at her eyes. "I'm with Logan," she cried, her voice desperate and pleading.

"Do you love me?"

She rubbed her hands over her face. "Tristan, please!"

"Mary. Do you love me?"

"You know that I do," she sobbed.

"Then what the hell is the problem? You love me. I love you, I want to be with you and you want to be with me too." Tristan took a deep breath. "So let's be together, Rory."

"And what am I supposed to do? Just leave Logan? Just tell the man that loves me, treats me right, is the perfect gentleman, the man that wants to marry me, that I just changed my mind!"

Tristan was lost at 'wants to marry me.' "Marry you? This guy wants to marry you?"

Rory bit her bottom lip so hard she thought it might bleed, but nodded her head. She held out her left hand and Tristan's heart fell. There was a ring. She's been away from him for just a few months and she already had a fucking ring?

"Logan loves me, Tristan. He's good to me."

"But he isn't me," Tristan muttered. "Does he know your favorite ice cream is plain chocolate because it was the first kind that you could recognize at age three? Does he know that you bite your bottom lip when you're nervous or excited? He doesn't know that you've read Pride and Prejudice twenty-three times? Does he know the kind of chap stick you wear or that you love the beach but hate the ocean? Does he read to you the way that I do, make you feel silly and perfect at the same time? Does he know all that?"

Rory let the tears fall from her eyes without wiping them away. "What am I supposed to do, Tristan?"

Tristan let out a dark chuckle. "What are you supposed to do? You're supposed to be with me," he shook his head and sighed. "But then, you already know that."

She bit her bottom lip again and took a deep breath. "You know that I love you."

He ran a hand through his already tousled hair. "You're the one for me, Mary." He held her gaze for a few seconds. She kept eye contact but her eyes were desperate, hopeless. Tristan sighed and shook his head. "I love you," he said, picking up the book and tucking it into her folded arms. He turned and walked back to the door, his hand found the door knob and without turning back around he said, "You know where I'll be."

And with that he let himself out, shutting the door softly behind him. He'd done what he came to do, and now there was nothing he could do but wait.


	6. Shattered

-This chapter gets pretty intense and I'm not sure how much I like the intense part. But it's what needed to happen. I had a hard time writing it because I wanted it to be really real. I hope you like this chapter. It isn't one of my favorites but I'd really appreciate feedback from you guys. Thanks! Now on with the chapter...

Chapter Six: Shattered

Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls (obviously.)

&

Tristan slid behind the wheel, tipping his head back and breathing deep to keep the tears from falling. He wouldn't do that. He wouldn't cry. He ran his fingers through his hair for probably the millionth time that evening. "Tell her you love her, it'll make things better," he mumbled to no one but himself shaking his head with a deep sigh. He glanced at his own eyes in the rear view mirror. "What the hell was I thinking?"

He shook the misery from his body as best he could and pulled his keys from his jacket pocket, turning them in the ignition and slowly watching her building slip out of sight. It took him a few seconds to register that his cell phone was ringing and it wasn't just noise in his head. He cleared his throat and answered the call.

"Hello."

"Hey, man." Jess' voice came through the earpiece. "How'd it go?"

Tristan sighed. "I'd rather not get into it."

He heard Jess heave a disappointed sigh and could imagine his head shaking. "I'm sorry, Tristan."

"Yeah, me too."

There was a slight pause before Jess spoke again. "Look I just called to tell you that I have to head out of town for a few days. My agent called and I have to meet with a publicist about my book."

Tristan let the ghost of a smile grace his features. "That's awesome, Jess."

"Yeah, yeah it's really good. The thing is, I'll be out of cell service for a while. This publicist guy lives in some off the map town and he'll only meet with us if we come to him, so you won't be able to get a hold of me for a couple days." Jess paused, waiting for a response.

Tristan took a breath. "Yeah, look don't worry about it. I think I should probably get out of town anyway. I mean the whole reason I came to town just backfired on me. I'm not really in the mood to stay in her home town you know?"

Jess let out a breath. "I get it. I don't think you should leave just yet, Tristan. But do what you have to. I'll leave the key under the door mat if you change your mind."

"Thanks, man. Good luck with your publicist."

Jess chuckled. "Thanks. Good luck with your heart."

Tristan nodded to himself, hanging up his phone and tossing onto the seat next to him. He turned up the radio and took another deep breath, continuing his drive.

He pulled up to Jess' about twenty minutes later. He took all three stairs up to porch at once and pulled the key out from underneath the doormat. He tossed the house key on the table by the door and shrugged off his jacket, tossing it on the chair in the living room.

Tristan walked into the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge, breaking the seal and taking a long pull from the bottle. He licked his lips and wished for a second that he'd never quit smoking. He laughed humorlessly. She was both the reason he quit and the reason he wanted to have one right now. He smiled lightly, thinking about the last conversation they had about his nicotine habit.

"_Come here," he mumbled, pulling her down to sit on his lap, his cigarette hanging from his other hand. She rolled her eyes at him and laughed. _

_They were sitting outside of his parents house in the garden, hiding out from the faces of Hartford's elite for a while. They both hated these kinds of parties. He went because he had to, and she went because she knew he needed her there. _

_After meeting about forty of his father's "closest friends," people he'd never heard of before, mind you, he definitely needed a smoke. He held Rory against him on his lap with his left arm and brought his cigarette up to his mouth with his right. He took a long drag, inhaling and letting the smoke roll slowly out of his mouth. _

_He took a deep breath, the cool air hitting his lungs. He turned toward her, pulling her face down towards his own. _

_She resisted and he raised an eyebrow in surprise and confusion. "If you think I'm kissing you after you just smoked that, you're crazy." _

_Tristan smirked and rolled his eyes at her, pulling her in again. She stood up off of his lap this time, folding her arms across her chest. He scoffed. "You're serious." _

_Rory nodded. "Those things are going to kill you and I will not condone something that'll end up taking you away from me." _

_He rolled his eyes again and took a step forward, reaching out to pull her close. She shook her head, stepping back from him. He sighed, frustrated. "Rory, come on. You're being over dramatic." _

_She shrugged. "Maybe I am. But you're still not kissing me." _

_He sighed. "What, you want me to quit?" _

_She looked at him for a few seconds before nodding slowly. "That's exactly what I want." _

_He let out a slow breath. "You know what I want?" he asked, a smirk sliding over his lips. _

_This time is was Rory's turn to roll her eyes. "I could take a wild guess."_

_He grinned, stepping towards her. This time she didn't step back. "I want to kiss you," he muttered. _

_She put her hands on his shoulders and pulled herself up so her face was less that an inch from his. She moved in closer, parting her lips as if to kiss him. "Then stop smoking," she whispered, pulling away and taking a few steps back from him. _

_He groaned in frustration and ran his fingers through his hair. "If I tell you I'll quit will you let me kiss you?"_

_She bit her lip and shook her head. "No. You have to promise." _

_He sighed. "Rory, come on." _

_She shook her head at him again. "I am not giving up on this Tristan. You either quit smoking or never kiss me again. Your choice."_

_He shook his head, dropping the cigarette in his hand and putting it out with the toe of his shoe. "Fine," he mumbled, holding his hand out as an offering this time. She looked down at his hand and hesitantly put her hand in his own as he pulled her against him. "You win," he said. _

_She smiled. "You promise?"_

_Tristan nodded slowly. "Yeah. I promise." _

_Rory grinned. "I love it when I win," she said, pushing up onto her toes to reach his lips, pressing her own against them. _

_By the time they pulled back they were both out of breath and Tristan was shaking his head. "You're lucky I enjoy kissing you so much," he teased and she smiled. _

"_I am pretty good at that," she shrugged. "So I hear," she teased back. _

_Tristan raised his eyebrows at her. "And who all have you heard that from?" _

_Rory shrugged. "All sorts of people really."_

_Tristan pulled her closer against him and held her there. "Is that right, Mary?"_

_She nodded. "Yeah. I could make you a list if-"_

_But she never finished the sentence. Her words turned into uncontrollable laughter as he tickled her mercilessly. She squealed and fought against him but he was so much stronger than her that they both ended up on the ground in a fit of laughter. _

Tristan took a deep breath and put the bottle up to his lips, taking another long pull and heading into the spare bedroom to start packing his clothes. He stuffed everything he brought with him in his duffel bag, zipping it shut and going out to throw it in his trunk. He set his half finished beer down on the coffee table and hauled his bag to the car. He decided against popping the trunk and just tossed the bag in the back seat before going back inside to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything. He grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair and pulled it on, feeling in his pocket for his car keys.

He decided he'd dump the rest of his beer down the sink. He wasn't in the mood for it anymore. As he walked into the kitchen he stopped to look at the pictures on Jess' mantle. There was one of him and Luke in front of the diner, one of his mom, one of him holding his first novel. He looked so proud of himself. Tristan caught his breath when he saw the last picture. On either side of Jess were Tristan and Rory. Jess was holding up his first published novel, Tristan was wearing the widest grin and reaching across Jess to hold up Rory's left hand. Rory's smile was absolutely radiant, but she wasn't looking at the camera, she was looking across Jess to Tristan, Tristan was looking back at her and Jess was staring past the camera in mid-laugh.

Tristan smiled. That was one of the best days. It was the day he asked Rory to marry him and the day Jess' book came out with it's first edition. They were all so happy that day. Jess had been laughing at Lorelai who'd been the one taking the picture. She was mocking Tristan and Rory but they hadn't even noticed.

He sighed and resumed tossing his beer bottle in the garbage. He made sure to shut all the lights off since Jess wouldn't be home for a few days. He grabbed the house key off the table beside the door and placed it under the door mat before locking up.

Tristan sighed, he'd been driving for a while now. He'd passed through Hartford not too long ago and thought about her the entire time. He cursed the fact that he even had to drive through Hartford. He raked a hand through his hair, settling back further into his seat and maneuvering his way smoothly through the traffic. He was humming along to the radio when his cell phone rang. He reached over and grabbed it from the passenger seat where he'd tossed it when he'd gotten in the car earlier.

He turned the radio down and checked the name on the caller ID. When he saw the letters flashing across the screen his breath caught in his throat. 'Mary.' Rory was calling him. He got so nervous he almost threw up. Why was she calling him? Did she change her mind? Should he even answer?

Tristan shook his head at himself. "Answer the damn phone, Tristan," he muttered.

"Mary..." He started.

"Tristan?" She was crying. His stomach dropped. He hated it when she cried.

"Mary, what's the matter?"

She sobbed, trying to gain enough control of herself to explain. "Tristan, it's my mom."

"Lorelai? What happened, what's wrong?" He sounded panicked, he knew he did. But he couldn't help it, she was like a mother to him. When Rory didn't say anything he had to force himself not to yell. "Rory! What happened!?"

"I don't know. I don't know. I can't get a hold of her. She should've been here by now. She should've been here an hour ago." She was sobbing so hard he could barely hear her.

"Mary. Calm down. Are you at your apartment?" Tristan had already turned the car around, flying towards Hartford.

"Yes," she cried. "Tristan I need your help."

"I'm already on my way," he said, keeping his voice calm. "Just stay as calm as you can until I get there."

She didn't say anything but by the way she was breathing he could tell she was trying to calm herself down. He hung up the phone, driving as fast as he could. He had to get there as soon as possible.

He got into Hartford in record time, parking in a no parking zone to get into her apartment as fast as he could. He passed by the doorman without trouble and took the stairs so as not to have to wait for the elevator. He pounded on her door, signature knock forgotten in his panic.

Rory swung the door open while he was still in mid knock and threw herself into his arms. He held her against him, walking her into the apartment. "Mary, what happened?"

She was sobbing again and the only thing stopping her from falling to the floor was Tristan's arms around her. "I don't know," she finally got out. "After you left I called my mom to come and stay with me because I was so upset and I just needed to talk to her. She said she was leaving right when we hung up and she never showed up."

Tristan kept his hold on her. "Have you called her cell? Have you called Luke?"

Rory threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. "Of course I have! I've called her cell a million times and she hasn't picked it up! Luke isn't here he's fishing until tomorrow afternoon."

Tristan nodded. "Okay. Come on." He pulled her along with him, his arms still around her.

"Where are we going?"

He stopped and turned towards her, holding her face in his hands. "We're going to drive the road to Stars Hollow. We'll find her."

Rory's face got ghostly white. "You think she was in an accident don't you?" She sobbed, covering her face with her hands. "What if something horrible happened to her? What if she isn't okay?"

Tristan pulled Rory's hands from her face and looked into her eyes. "Rory. We will find her. I promise you. Now let's go, we don't have time to waste."

She nodded, pulling him close to her again and intertwining their fingers. She needed to feel like he was in this with her, not to feel alone. He didn't even flinch when she put her fingers through his. He gripped her hand tightly and made sure she was as close to him as possible. Her breath caught, but this was not the time to think about how good it felt to be close to him again. She needed to think about her mom.

They both got into her car and he headed out of Hartford in the direction of Stars Hollow. He took a deep breath and glanced over at her. "Rory, listen to me. I know that this is going to be horrible for you, but I need you to watch the ditches on your side of the road. Make sure you pay attention. If she was in an accident it's possible no one has gotten to her yet. There is barely any traffic on this road." More tears fell from her eyes but she nodded.

They were only ten minutes outside of Hartford when Tristan saw the jeep. "Close your eyes, Mary," he said. She looked over at him and gasped. He knew she'd seen the jeep. Her mother's vehicle was deep into the ditch, the front end was mangled and there would be no saving it. He pulled over quickly and turned to her.

"Stay here. I'll go see if she's alright. I want you to stay in the car and call 911." Tristan tried to keep his voice as even as possible. "Rory listen to me!"

She looked up at him, tears streaming down her face. "Tristan she has to be okay! She has to!"

He nodded, pulling her to him and kissing her forehead. "I have to go see how bad it is, okay? You need to pull yourself together enough to call an ambulance. Okay? We have to get her to a hospital."

Rory nodded, still sobbing.

"Stay here and do not look." Tristan ordered. He knew he sounded like the military officer version of himself but he needed her to listen to him.

He kissed her forehead again before running across the road to Lorelai's jeep. He had to use all the strength he could push out of himself to get the door opened and when he did it wasn't pretty. The front end was so smashed up into the rest of the vehicle that he couldn't have moved her if he thought it was okay, which is definitely wasn't. Lorelai was bleeding badly from her head and her leg was twisted around enough that he knew it would only hurt her more to move her. He hoped the ambulance would get here soon. Tristan checked the pulse in her neck to make she she was still alive. She was still breathing but he didn't know how much longer she would hold on.

"Oh my, God!" he heard from behind him and he spun around to see Rory falling to the ground in the middle of the highway. She hadn't listened to him. She'd gotten out of the car and she'd looked.

"Don't look, Mary!" he yelled, but she wouldn't turn away. He ran over to her and forced her eyes to meet his own. "Rory, listen to me!" This command she seemed to obey. "You will not look back at that jeep," he ordered. She turned away from him but he caught her face and brought it back to his. "Do not look! You don't want to see."

She burst into sobs again and he held her against him. In the middle a dead highway he held her against him and let her cry in his arms. "Did you call the ambulance?" He mumbled into her hair.

She nodded. "They said they'd be here as soon as possible." She whispered as they heard the sirens approaching from the distance.

Before he could say anything about the sirens they saw the lights. Tristan picked her up and carried her back to the car. She refused to get inside but sunk to her knees beside the driver's side door. He kissed her head again before moving to meet the paramedics.

"What happened?" one of the medical team asked as he approached the ambulance.

He took a breath. "I don't know. She was supposed to arrive in Hartford hours ago and she never showed up so we went to look for her and we found the car. She isn't conscious. I'm not sure how bad it is I didn't want to move her."

The paramedic nodded slowly. "You were right not to move her. I can't tell you how bad it is until we get her to a hospital." As he spoke the rest of his team placed Lorelai on a stretcher and into the ambulance. "You can follow the ambulance back into Hartford if you like. Will either of you be riding with her?"

Tristan looked over at Rory who was still sobbing on the ground. "No. I'll follow the ambulance. I think she would be too upset to ride with her mom," Tristan said motioning to Rory.

The medic nodded and patted Tristan on the shoulder. "We need to get her into Hartford. The sooner she gets medical treatment, the better it is."

Tristan nodded, running back across the highway to Rory. He picked her up and put her in the passenger seat before getting into the driver's seat and speeding after the ambulance. He reached over and took her hand in his. "She's going to be okay, Rory. I promise."

She looked up at him and took a shaky breath. "I hope you're right," she whispered, leaning over and clinging to him while he drove.

Tristan took a deep breath. He hoped he was right too.


	7. I'm not your star

Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls (obviously.)

**So this chapter took forever to write. But I'm very happy with it! I hope you will be too! Review! =)**

Chapter Seven: I'm not your star...

* * *

They ran blindly through the emergency room entrance to the hospital. Tristan led her through the halls until they found the man he had spoken to on the highway.

"What's happening?" He asked, trying as best he could to keep the panic out of his voice. It must not have been working as well as he'd hoped. Rory curled herself under his arm. He let his fingers go up to her hair and hold her against him.

The paramedic shook his head. "I really don't know anything. They rushed her straight into surgery when we got her off the ambulance. I would guess it'll be at least a few hours." He glanced down at Rory and shot Tristan a sympathetic smile.

Tristan nodded back at him. "Thank you," he said. He turned away from the paramedic and guided Rory to a bench by the wall. He sat next to her, never removing his arms from around her. She sobbed into his arms. He didn't know what to say to her. What could he possibly say that would make this all right? He breathed a long sigh and after a while he pulled her away from himself to look at her. "Rory you need to talk to me. You haven't said a word since we got here." He pushed the hair back from her face and watched her, expectantly.

She ran her hands across her face slowly, breathing shakily and rocking herself back and forth. "This can't be real," she whimpered. Silent sobs shook her and her head fell to her hands. "It can't be."

Tristan shut hit eyes tight. Maybe when he opened them again this would all be a dream. He opened them after a few seconds. It wasn't a dream. But it was all so surreal. He glanced at the beautiful, broken girl next to him and his own heart shattered. He couldn't stand to see her cry, let alone see her broken like this. "She's going to be okay."

She looked up at him, tears filling her eyes and running down her cheeks. "How do you know that?"

Tristan let the ghost of a smile grace his features and he reached out to her. "Because she's Lorelei." That seemed to give Rory another shred of hope. "Hey," he led. "You okay?"

Rory shook her head. "Not really. I'm so scared, Tris." She ran her fingers through her hair, a habit she picked up from him. "I'm just so terrified."

He nodded. "Let's get your mind off of this a little bit. Maybe you should make some phone calls?" He suggested.

She gasped. "Oh my God! I completely forgot about that. I have to call Grandma and Dad and Luke and Sookie and-"

"Mary." He cut her off. "One thought at a time here, okay?"

She nodded slowly. "Yeah, okay. Grandma first, I guess." She took her cell phone from her coat pocket and dialed the number for her grandparents'. "Grandma, it's Rory." She paused. "There has been an accident. Mom's in the hospital." She paused again, waiting for her grandmother's questions. "I don't know. We don't know anything yet. She's in surgery right now." Another pause. "I will, I promise. I need to make some more calls. I will. Thank you, grandma." She let out a deep breath and turned to Tristan. "Dad," she said.

Tristan nodded. "I'll go get you some coffee," he said knowingly. She forced a smile of appreciation. "You gonna' be all right by yourself for a couple minutes?"

"Yeah. Thank you."

He nodded again, turning to find a coffee machine. She went back to concentrating on her cell phone. She was finishing up a call when he returned with a hot cup for her. "We don't know yet." She paused. "He is. Tristan is here with me." She paused again. "It's a long story." Another pause. "Yeah, okay. I love you too, Dad."

She hung up the phone and turned to Tristan, accepting the steaming cup from his outstretched hand. "Thank you."

Tristan sighed and sat down next to her. "Did you get all of your calls in?" he asked and she nodded, swallowing the coffee.

"I think so. Everyone that I could think of knows. Dad's on his way here. Grandma and Grandpa want a phone call every half hour. Sookie is going crazy and Luke cut his fishing trip short. He's on his way back now."

Tristan nodded slowly, noticing one name she happened to have left out. "Rory?" She glanced up at him. As much as it killed him to mention it, he said, "why did you call me?"

She frowned. "I didn't know who else to call," she said, her voice small and scared. "I was just so scared. You were the first person I could think of."

His eyebrows creased in confusion. "Me? You thought to call me before anyone else?" He asked, trying to wrap his mind around what that meant.

Rory nodded, a little confused herself. "Of course," she said as if it should have been obvious. He should have just known that he would be her first thought. She was contradicting herself here. Or so it seemed. "Should I not have called you?" Great. He hurt her feelings. She didn't need that on top of everything else she had to be thinking.

Tristan shook his head quickly. "No, Rory. Of course not. You know you can always call me." He said. She shook her head back at him in confusion. "What I meant was.." he paused to run his hand over his face and through his hair. "I meant, why did you call me and not Logan?" God it killed him to say that name.

Her expression completely changed when she realized what he was asking her. "Oh." That was all she said for a long minute. "Logan is out of town," she started to explain. "On business."

Tristan sighed. "Okay," he said, still not quite understanding.

"He couldn't have gotten here in time and I didn't know what else to do." She shrugged. "You have always been good in crisis."

He nodded. "Okay."

She looked up at him. And then back down at her shoes, and then up at him again. He watched her in confusion. "And," she started, biting her lip. "I needed you."

Her words hit him like a sledge hammer to the chest. She needed him. She had no idea what those words were doing to him. Tearing him up inside. And he couldn't show her that. She didn't need to deal with him right now, she couldn't. And he could never make her. So he did the only thing that he could think of. He opened his arms and she moved closer to him, wrapping herself into him.

She seemed calmer now and he was grateful that she wasn't hysterical. It had been about an hour. His arms were still wrapped around her. They hadn't spoken since she told him she needed him. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what he could say without breaking himself. He had to keep himself together right now. For her. But it was killing him. He couldn't stop thinking about the last few days and the way he felt and the way that he was. He was broken. But right now so was she, and her heart was so much more important to him than his own.

Tristan's eyes were closed when he heard the footsteps of the doctor. "Are you here for Lorelai Gilmore?" he asked. Tristan opened his eyes and stood, pulling Rory up with him. She seemed to register what was happening and she bit her bottom lip.

"I'm her daughter," she mumbled, unsure of herself. Tristan pulled her closer in attempt to comfort her.

"Is she going to be alright?" He asked, speaking the words he knew Rory wouldn't be able to say.

The doctor nodded slowly. "She has three cracked ribs and some serious bruising. There was some internal bleeding from the impact but we managed to get it stopped in surgery. She has a concussion and quite a bit of bruising on her torso area. Her leg was dislocated in the knee but we were able to reset it. She'll have a lengthy recovery but she'll be just fine."

Rory seemed to melt into Tristan at the doctor's words. He breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks, Doc."

The doctor nodded, turning to go back down the hallway he came from.

"Doctor?" Rory's small voice reached a volume the hospital had yet to experience. He turned back around. "Can I see my mom?" she asked.

He nodded. "Of course. She's in room 214."

Rory nodded back at him. "Thank you."

"Rory!?"

Tristan looked towards the voice and she lifted her head to follow his gaze. Before Tristan could speak she let her arms fall away from him and ran towards the voice.

He stood with his hands in his pockets and watched her run towards him, jumping into his arms as her tears started up again.

"I'm so glad you're here," she told him, barely loud enough for Tristan to understand.

Christopher held her against him. "It's okay. It's all going to be okay, honey." He pulled away from her and kissed her forehead. "Come on little girl."

Tristan turned away slightly, feeling intrusive on their moment. He heard their footsteps approaching and he turned back around slightly.

"How is she?" Christopher asked, a deep frown on his handsome face.

"She's out of surgery. She has a few cracked ribs, a dislocated knee, concussion, and some bruising. But the doctor said she'll be fine." Rory let out a sigh of relief as if hearing the words from her own mouth made them truer than they were before.

Her father let out a breath and nodded. "Can we see her?"

Rory nodded. "She's in room 214. He said we can go in any time."

Tristan smiled. She'd become much more talkative since the good news and he was glad. A quiet Rory was something he could never have gotten used to. He reached down to grab his coat from the bench where they were sitting and pulled it over his shoulders. When he stood Christopher's hand was outstretched towards him. He shook it firmly.

"Thank you."

He nodded at the older man. "Anytime," he said and Chris smiled. "Tell her 'get well' for me?" Christopher nodded back.

Tristan turned as Rory and Christopher made their way to Loralei's side. He made his way towards the door, hands shoved into his pockets. It wasn't his place. Not anymore. He had to force himself not to turn around, to keep walking. He told himself it was better this way. She wanted Logan. He wouldn't make this any harder for her. He would keep walking. But as he reached the door, his own name stopped him.

"Tristan." He turned slowly, taking a deep breath and locking eyes with her. He watched as she studied his expression. He tried his best to keep it blank. "You're leaving," she more stated than asked.

He nodded once. "I should go. You need to spend time with your mom."

She bit her bottom lip and furrowed her eyebrows slightly. "You can't stay? Just for a while?" she asked, her voice small.

He caught his breath and shut his eyes tight, focusing. "I can't."

She looked up at him, tears in her eyes. He looked down and took a deep breath. He silently begged her not to cry. He could never handle it when she cried. "Oh," her voice was small. "Okay."

"She'll be okay," he said.

Rory nodded. "Yeah," she mumbled. He nodded back at her and turned to leave again. "Tris," she started and he turned. "Thank you."

He nodded. "Anything for you, Mary."

She looked down to her feet. "Would you stay for me?" Her voice was timid and it broke his heart to say the words he knew he was going to have to say.

He shook his head. "Rory," he started.

"Please."

He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "No."

Then the tears started to fall. She nodded through her tears. And as much as it broke his heart to turn away from her, he did just that. He turned his back on her tears and stepped away. His own tears starting to well up in his eyes.

"Why?"

He stopped. She couldn't just let him go. He turned again. She looked directly into his eyes. "Why won't you stay with me?"

He let his eyes fall closed. He saw a million pictures flash on the back's of his eyelids. Their first kiss, first date, the day he shipped out, the days in the hospital, a million different letters with a million different words, and then the day she put the ring back into his hand.

"Rory. Don't do this to me. Please." His voice was close to begging. "I can't stay."

She let out a deep sigh. "But why not?"

He shut his eyes tight. "Because it isn't my place." He watched her face change from sadness to guilt. "Not anymore."

"Tristan-"

"Take care of yourself, Mary." He smiled at her softly, turning his back on her. And this time when he got to the door she didn't stop him. He opened the door and stepped out into the breeze. As he turned the corner he let his weight fall against the side of the building as he raked his fingers through his hair.

He wouldn't cry. He wouldn't let her do that to him. Not again. He ran his hands over his face, pulling himself together. He pushed himself off the wall and walked slowly to his car. Maybe now it was really over.

His drive back to Stars Hollow was a silent one. He kept the radio off. He knew any song he heard now would remind him of her. Leaving that hospital was the hardest thing he'd ever done. Watching her standing there, begging him to stay, it broke him into a million more pieces. But he couldn't stay. He couldn't do that to himself. He wouldn't be that guy. She chose Logan. _She chose Logan.  
_

When he stopped the car in front of Jess' he took a deep breath, let his head fall against the steering wheel, and let his mind bring up yet another memory.

_It was near three in the morning and raining hard. He woke up to the sound of the rain hitting the roof and he reached for her, but his arm hit the sheets. He called for her but there was no answer so he pulled himself out of bed, clad only in his boxers, not bothering to put anything else on he left the room, padding barefoot to the picture window. _

_She was standing at the window, watching the rain, wearing only his favorite t-shirt. It was so big for her that it hung down to the middle of her thighs. She had her fingers pressed against the glass, tracing the raindrops. God she was beautiful. _

_He watched her silently for a few moments before moving over to her and wrapping his arms around her stomach. She didn't turn, but let her head fall back against his chest. He pressed his lips to her forehead. "What are you doing out here?" _

_She shrugged her shoulders against him. "It's raining," she mumbled, letting her cold fingers drop from the damp glass of the window. _

_He took a breath and nodded into her hair. "Did it wake you?" _

_She nodded back. They stood in silence for a while. She leaned against him and just let him hold her. "Tris?" _

_He had his eyes closed now, taking in the feel of her against him. "Hmm." _

"_I love you, you know." _

_He wrapped her tighter into his arms. "I love you too. More than you could ever know." _

_She smiled then and turned away from the window. "Do you remember the night that you chased me in the rain? When we had that huge fight. The night my family was there." _

_He nodded, a small smile coming to his face. "I think it's the only time I've ever seen you run." _

_She laughed. "You want to know something about that night?" _

"_What?" _

"_It was the day I decided I wanted to be with you forever." Her eyes never left his with the declaration. _

_His eyes went soft and he smiled. "Why that night?" _

_She smiled back at him. "Because I knew then, that if I got scared, if I felt like I needed to run away, you would always be just behind me." _

_He kissed her forehead. "I realized that night, that you'll never let me go. And that I never want you to." _

He was crying now. He couldn't help it. Tears were falling and she shook them away, wiping at his eyes. Was that what she wanted? For him to chase her? No. She wanted him to be there for her. And he always would be. He would always pick up the phone if she called him at four in the morning. But he wouldn't call her. As much as he needed her, as much as he wanted her, he had to let her do what she asked for. He had to let her be with Logan. He knew that now.

He got out of the car slowly and realized his car wasn't the only one in front of the house. Jess must be back. He walked to the door slowly, biding his time. He reached the door and twisted the knob, knowing it would be unlocked if Jess was home. He walked inside and shrugged off his jacket, hanging it on the hook by the door and dropping his keys on the table in the hall. Jess came around the corner then, slowing to a stop when he saw Tristan.

"You're back," Tristan stated, unsure of what else to open with.

Jess nodded slowly. "Luke showed up. He told me what happened. So I explained the situation and left as soon as I could."

Tristan nodded back in understanding. "Did you just get in?"

"Pretty much," Jess said, frowning.

Tristan gave an acknowledging grunt and walked into the living room, letting his weight drop and falling onto the couch in a seated position. He dropped his head back against the couch and closed his eyes.

Jess followed him into the living room. "Are you honestly just going to come in here and sit on the couch with your eyes closed like everything's fucking fine?" He asked, incredulous. "You aren't even going to tell me anything? Explain what happened? If she's alright?"

Tristan snapped his eyes open and locked them with Jess'. He took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair. He shrugged his shoulders.

"Tristan!"

He sighed again. Jess had a right to be angry with him. He hadn't even thought about the fact that Jess knew nothing. He was just so emotionally drained. "I'm sorry," he started. "I wasn't thinking." He cleared his throat and Jess took a seat in the chair, elbows resting on his knees, ready to listen.

"I was on my way out of here, bags packed, everything ready, already through Hartford. And she called me."

"Rory," Jess provided and Tristan nodded.

"She was crying and upset and she said Lorelai was supposed to have been there a long time ago. She should've been there hours ago and she still hadn't shown up. She wasn't answering her cell phone and she just knew something horrible had happened." He paused to swallow. "So I turned around. I broke a million traffic laws to get back into Hartford as fast as I could. I went to her apartment and she was on the floor, sobbing. So I picked her up and told her that we would drive the roads from Hartford to Stars Hollow and find Lorelai. We drove not even ten minutes and found her jeep."

Tristan continued with the rest of the story up until Christopher showed up. "And then I left," he said, conveniently leaving out his conversation with her before he left.

Jess nodded slowly, taking it all in. "So Lorelai is going to be okay?"

"Yeah. She's pretty banged up but the doc said she was gonna' be fine." Tristan leaned back again.

"What about Rory?"

Tristan shrugged his shoulders. "She's a mess," he said. "She's better now that Christopher is there but she was a mess."

"I mean what about you and Rory," he pushed. "She called you, Tristan. She wanted you to be the one that sat with her in that hospital. So what's going on? Did she say anything to you?"

Tristan didn't respond. He just let his eyes wander around the room.

"She did," Jess concluded. "Oh, God, Tristan. What did you do?"

He sighed, running his tongue over his lips. "She asked me to stay," he stated simply.

Jess waited for him to continue and when he didn't he shook his head. "And you didn't stay with her because?"

"Because she didn't pick me, Jess!" He shouted. "She didn't want me. She wants Logan. She chose Logan. I went to see her and I bared my fucking soul and she didn't want me!"

Jess sighed. "Tristan, maybe she made a mistake."

He laughed darkly. "Don't. Don't make this about how we're destined to be together and she'll wake up and realize her mistake because I was there for her and I was the one that comforted her when he couldn't! Don't make this more than it is."

"I'm not. I'm telling you, Tristan, Rory loves you."

He nodded. "I know that. And I love her, more than anything in the world. But it doesn't work like this, Jess! It's not a fucking fairy tale. I can't just rescue the princess and let her cry on my shoulder and have everything be happily ever after! She's wearing Logan's ring. She chose Logan! And when he comes back she'll choose him again."

"You don't know that," Jess started. "Maybe-"

"Stop it! Just stop. Rory took the ring. He asked her to be with him forever and she said yes. That doesn't mean 'yes unless Tristan shows up.' It means yes!"

He took a deep breath, shaking his head, angered by the tears welling in his eyes. Jess just stood there, watching him, letting him calm down.

"Tristan," he started but Tristan shook his head. Jess took a step forward and put a hand on Tristan's shoulder. "I'm sorry, man. I really am."

Tristan nodded but pulled away. He was stronger than this. He wouldn't sit on the couch and cry on Jess's shoulder like a fucking baby. He raked a hand through his hair and wiped at his face, embarrassed of his tears.

"Just don't, Jess. Okay? I'm a big boy I can handle it." He sighed.

"I know you can handle it, Tristan. I know you. You're capable of withstanding any kind of pain. I know that," Jess paused. "Just know that I'm here for you. And I'm pulling for you, man. You know that."

He nodded once. "Don't waste your hope on me, Jess. It's over. I know that now."


	8. No One But Me

**-My favorite chapter so far. I hope it makes you cry. It made me cry. -**

Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls (obviously).

Chapter Eight: No One But Me

* * *

It had been three days since the accident. Tristan was standing outside the door to Lorelai's room, attempting to prepare himself to walk inside. He wasn't sure who was in there with her. He did know that Logan had rushed back from his business trip to be there for Rory, so he supposed if she was in there so was he. And that was something he really didn't need.

He ran his fingers up and through his hair. He hadn't been back here since that last conversation with Rory. Jess had tried to get him here for the past few days, but he just couldn't face it all. But this morning he received a call from Lorelai, asking him to come and see her. And as much as he wanted to just hole up in Jess's house and pretend reality wasn't just outside the door, he pulled himself together enough to make the drive to Hartford.

He took a deep breath, running his tongue over his lips. He sincerely wished that he hadn't quit smoking. He really wanted the taste of that last cigarette on his lips.

Tristan took a look at the flowers he held in his hand. He knew Lorelai would mock him for bringing them, tell him they were just going to die and he shouldn't have wasted his money on them but he didn't care. They were fitting for the situation and besides they'd bring a little color to the room.

Slowly he raised his arm to knock. After a call to come in he pushed the door open and stepped inside.

Lorelai was sitting up in her hospital bed, a cup of coffee sitting on the table beside her, a full bag from Luke's next to the coffee cup. She was bruised and looked incredibly sore, but she had a huge smile plastered on her face. Not that he'd expected anything less. He smiled at her.

"Well...look what the cat dragged in." She grinned up at him and he laughed.

"Nice to see you too," he said, rolling his eyes and leaning over to her. "I'd hug you but I don't want to hurt you," he said, kissing her cheek.

She smiled. "I'll settle for that," she said.

Tristan held the flowers out for her. "These are for you."

Lorelai shook her head. "Oh silly boy," she said, smiling. "What did I tell you about flowers?"

He chuckled. "I'm prepared to be mocked endlessly but I still thought you needed them. They bring some color to this room."

"Well you know that I will not be able to keep these alive," she grinned, "but thank you. That was very sweet."

"Yeah, well," he mumbled. "You know me."

He ran his fingers through his hair and Lorelai's smile faded slightly. "Sit."

He nodded, pulling the chair over to him and taking a seat. "How have you been, Lorelai? Honestly."

She sighed. "Honestly, I'm so lucky to be alive right now. I mean I'm sore and it hurts and it sucks, but I am so lucky to be alive. And I wanted to say thank you for that."

He shook his head. "I'm no hero," he mumbled.

"Oh, Tristan. You are. You always have been. When you were so perfect for Rory, when you decided to be a soldier, when you stood up to your dad, and when you found me. Don't think you're anything less than you are, Tristan."

He smiled a little sheepishly. "Well I appreciate your opinion of me, but I'm not as great as all that."

She rolled her eyes back at him. "Well we're all entitled to our opinions I suppose."

They sat in silence for a couple minutes, both of them taking in the conversation. He rubbed his palm against the back of his neck. "Where is she?" he asked finally.

Lorelai looked up at him, surprised that he asked. "She went to get more coffee."

He laughed. "Surprise, surprise."

She nodded. "What can I say, we're addicts."

"I've never met anyone that is proud of an addiction. Until the two of you that is," he raised his eyebrow at her.

Lorelai smiled. "We are unique."

They sat quietly, Tristan not wanting to ask what he didn't really even want to know, and Lorelai not wanting to upset him. So they sat until he was ready to say something.

"Has she asked about me?" he questioned. Glancing up and away from Lorelai, not wanting her to be able to read the emotion he was sure was swimming in his eyes. "I mean anything about me?"

She nodded. "She told me what happened. When you left." Tristan looked over at her, a little surprised. But then again, he thought, people typically told their best friends things like that. "She was really hurt when you wouldn't stay."

He shrugged. "I couldn't."

"I know, and I told her that. I understand, Tristan. I really do. This can't be easy for you."

"It's not," he sighed. "It's hard. It's really hard. I'm just tired, Lorelai. I'm so tired of all of it."

She nodded. "If I knew what to say to make her understand what you're going through, I would. I just don't know what I could say to her."

He leaned back and ran his hands over his face. "There's nothing you can say, trust me. I've tried everything. I just can't keep fighting for her. She chose Logan. She chose him when she took the ring. As long as she's wearing that ring.." he trailed off with a breath.

She nodded back at him. "I get it."

In the lull of sound before Tristan could respond, the door opened. "Hey. Okay so I got like a million different things from a few different places just so you could try whatever you-" She paused, turning around to see Tristan sitting by her mother's bed. "Want." She finished slowly. "Hi."

He nodded towards her. "Hey."

She walked over and set the coffee down next to Lorelai. "I figured you'd want a wide selection. So we got all sorts of things."

We. Tristan hadn't missed that. She said 'we.' That had to mean _he _wasn't far behind her.

"Where do you want the rest of these, Ace?" Right on cue. Tristan turned awkwardly to see Logan pushing through the door with more coffee cups.

Logan turned to see Tristan sitting there and glanced over to Rory. "You can put them over here with the other ones." He nodded moving to set the other cups down.

"Hey, Tristan. Good to see you." He moved over to hold his hand out for Tristan to shake.

Tristan looked up at Logan's hand and then to Rory. He knew she was silently pleading with him to just shake Logan's hand. He locked eyes with her and she saw that he wasn't going to be nice about this. And he wouldn't apologize for it. Not even silently.

Tristan shook his head and pushed up from the chair he was sitting in. Logan drew back his hand. "Tristan, look man,"

"Don't," Tristan snapped. He looked over to Lorelai and sighed. "I'm glad you're alright."

She nodded. "Thanks for coming by, Tristan. It was good to see you."

He nodded back at her and made his way to the door. He let his fists clench at his sides as he walked across the small room towards the door. "Hey, Tristan, come on man, maybe we should just-" Logan reached out to grab his arm.

Tristan spun around, pulling his arm from Logan's reach. "You do not want to touch me."

"Logan," Rory spoke up. "Just let him go."

Tristan's eyes went to Rory's. There were tears welling in both of their eyes but he would not let them drop in front of Logan. He would hold it together, if for nothing else, because of his pride. He shook his head slowly and turned to go. He made it out the door before he heard Rory calling his name.

She was following him down the hall, running after him really. She caught him quickly and grabbed his hand, pulling him towards her. "Tristan,"

"Let me go, Rory."

She pulled harder. "Tristan, please. Will you just talk to me!"

"And say what? What do you want me to fucking say, Rory?" He pulled away from her and she moved towards him, placing her hand on his arm.

He looked down at her hand on his arm, he lifted her hand off of him and looked at it, touching her ring once before stepping back, disgustedly.

"Tristan," she paused, "I didn't mean," she stopped. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "So am I," he mumbled. "So am I." He let his eyes lock to hers once before turning his back on her.

"Wait," she said. He paused but didn't turn around. He could tell by the sound of her voice that she was crying. He couldn't turn around to see that. He would just feel sorry for her. "Will you look at me? Please?"

He took a deep breath and turned slowly. When he turned around she could see the tears streaming down his face. "Oh, Tristan," she mumbled. "I never meant," she stopped. He didn't say anything, he didn't wipe at the tears on his face. He didn't move.

She took quick steps to him and pulled him into her arms. He stood stiff against her for a few moments before letting his head fall onto her shoulder. She let her hands run up into his hair and he cried. He let his tears fall violent and hard against her shoulder. "How could you do that?" He mumbled. "How could you do this to me? It was never supposed to be this way." He took deep breaths, stepping back from her and shaking his head. She reached down to take his hand but he pulled it away. "Please. Please, I'm begging you. Just let me walk away."

She took another step back and wiped at the tears on her own face. "I love you, Tristan. I never meant to hurt you." She sobbed lightly. "I am so sorry."

"And I love you. I love you, Mary. More than anything in this entire world. And I would go to the ends of the earth and back for you. But you can't ask me to do this. You can't ask me to do that. I will not talk to him. I won't. You have to let me walk away." Tristan took a deep breath. Let his eyes trace through her own. And took a step to turn away.

And this time she let him go.

–

As he rounded the corner he let himself fall apart. He fell against the wall and buried his head in his hands, trying to pull himself together. He took deep breaths, running both of his hands over his face and through his hair. He should have known better. He never should have come.

-

Rory fell to her knees in the middle of the hospital hallway and raked her fingers through her long hair. She sat there and cried until Logan came out and pulled her to her feet. She stood slowly, letting him pull her into Lorelai's room.

Lorelai looked up as the door opened and met Rory's eyes. She opened her arms and Rory let out a sob, moving quickly to her mother's side and into her fragile embrace. "I never wanted this for him, mom," she sobbed. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." Lorelai pressed her lips to her daughter's hair and attempted to calm her down.

"I know honey. I know," she said. And in that moment they both understood. Lorelai knew everything. She knew how hard this was for Rory. She knew that Rory loved Tristan. She would always love him.

Logan watched the scene in front of him and knew that he wasn't needed here. He stepped out quietly and made his way to the parking lot.

-

Tristan sat on Jess's couch hours later, a beer bottle in his hand. "Maybe it's time for me to go," he said quietly. Jess looked up from the book he had been reading and studied Tristan's face. He contemplated speaking for a few moments before nodding.

"She loves you," he said.

Tristan nodded. "Not enough." He smiled sadly. "I can't put myself through this anymore. I'm bowing out."

Jess smirked. "Less than gracefully," he pointed out and Tristan smiled a bitter smile but tilted his head in agreement and took a long pull from his beer bottle.

"It's time," he sighed, standing and moving towards the bedroom to pack his things.

"Tristan." He turned at his name and raised an eyebrow. Jess shrugged. "At least stay until morning."

He shook his head lightly. "I can't." He turned his back on Jess and made his way into the bedroom. He picked up his duffel bag and started stuffing his clothes into it, not bothering to fold them. Jess came around the corner and leaned against the door frame.

"Just stay tonight, man. It's late."

Tristan sighed and shook his head. "I can't, Jess."

They stood in silence, Tristan held a gray Army t-shirt in his hand and Jess held a beer bottle in his. Finally Tristan cleared his throat. "If I don't leave tonight," he paused, swallowing hard. "If I don't leave tonight, I never will."

Jess watched him begin to move again, putting the shirt in the bag with the rest of his clothes. "Okay," he said, finally. "You do what you have to do."

He turned to go, leaving Tristan to pack, but stopped and turned slowly. "For what it's worth," he started and Tristan met his eyes. "Everything's gonna' be okay."

Jess gave him a sympathetic smirk and nodded before leaving. Tristan sat down on the bed, running his fingers through his hair and attempting to hold back his tears. After a few seconds he stood quickly, grabbing his bag and leaving the room, shutting the door behind him.

He made his way through the living room, grabbing his jacket from the hook beside the door and pushing outside. Jess was standing on the porch when he stepped out, looking up at the stars.

"She used to wish on the stars," Tristan stated, quietly. Jess turned. "She'd never tell me what she wished for. Said if she told me it wouldn't come true."

Jess watched him hesitantly, as if anything he said could set him spiraling in one way or another. He said nothing and they shared another silence for a few moments.

"They didn't come true anyway," Tristan said. Finality laced his voice. Sadness evident both his appearance and his words. He smiled to himself before shaking his head and moving forward. He held out a hand and Jess shook it firmly. "Thanks, Jess. For everything."

Jess nodded. "Anytime," he said. "Just do me a favor and let me know when you get back to New York?"

Tristan smiled softly and nodded. "Yeah, sure." Jess slapped him on the shoulder and he made his way to his car, throwing his bag in the passenger seat and starting the ignition.

-

Rory sat in her Stars Hollow bedroom with the box that had been tucked up in the hall closet for months. Since she packed it. She pulled out pictures, his letters all tied together with a white ribbon, the corsage she wore to their senior prom at Chilton, the Army t-shirt she took while he was on leave and kept to sleep in. The box was full of everything they were together. She picked up a picture that had fallen on the floor. She turned it over in her hand and the tears fell. It was her favorite picture of them.

_She walked nervously through the airport doors, moving quickly and frantically, Lorelai by her side. They made their way through the bustle of people as fast as possible. It was his first leave from the army. He was home for two weeks. He was hers for two whole weeks and she wasn't going to waste one single second. _

_She looked back and forth from gate to gate as quickly as her eyes could move. He wanted to see him the second he stepped back into the airport. She bit down hard on her lip and unconsciously straightened her clothes. _

"_Rory." Her mother's voice rang from beside and she turned quickly to glance at her, not wanting to miss one second of looking at Tristan. She could hear the smile in her mother's voice. "There." _

_Rory followed her mother's hand to where Tristan was walking into the airport. Her face lit up with the biggest smile she'd ever had. And she ran to him. She let her heart lead her feet and ran towards him, ducking the security rails and markers. She ran to him as fast as her feet would carry her. _

_He met her eyes and a grin spread across his face. God, how he'd missed her. He dropped his bags and she jumped into his waiting arms so hard she almost knocked him down. He held onto her tight as she placed feather light kisses on his temple, his forehead, his cheeks, jawline, and finally her lips met his and he kissed her back so hard he thought he might explode. He held her against him as tight as he could, her legs were wound around his waist. He pulled back and met her eyes. It had been too long since he'd seen that color of blue. "Hey, Mary." He said and her smile widened if that was even possible. _

_Somewhere in the back of her mind she'd registered Lorelai's camera flash. But she was too wrapped up in Tristan to notice anything else. _

"_I love you, Tristan." She pressed her forehead against his as he let her slip from his arms and back to the ground. He kissed her again, softly this time, relishing the feel of her lips against his. _

"_God I missed you, Mary." He pressed his lips to her forehead and pulled her against his side as he picked up the bags he'd dropped. They made their way slowly to Lorelai and she smiled widely at them. _

"_Welcome home, Tristan," she said, leaning up to embrace him. He wrapped on arm around her in a hug, his other arm never leaving Rory. "It's good to have you here," she said as he moved back to pull her daughter tighter against him. _

_They followed Lorelai out to the jeep. Rory climbed in the back seat with Tristan, both arms around him and he held her against his side, lips pressed into her hair, inhaling her scent. He met Lorelai's eyes in the rear view mirror and she smiled at him, nodding slowly. He smiled back, averting his eyes to watch Rory beside him. "I love you, Ror," he mumbled into her hair and she nodded against him. _

"_I love you back." She muttered. "Always." _

She pulled herself out of her memories and back into reality. She set the picture down on her bed, studying it. Her legs were wrapped tightly around Tristan's waist and he held her up, arms wrapped strongly around her. Her hands were on his face her forehead pressed against his. It had been one of the happiest moments of her life. She was so in love with him, so happy to have him back in her arms, to be back in his.

She sighed, standing and placing the picture on her dresser as she pulled out his letters.

"I miss you more than there are stars in the sky."

She looked up quickly, setting the letters on the dresser and staring in silence. "I'll be wishing on every star for you," she said quietly.

He let the ghost of a smile trace his features as he remembered reading those words at the end of each letter. He shook his head. "I just came to tell you that I'm leaving."

She met his eyes. "Tristan," she started but he held up a hand.

"I don't want you to ask me to stay." He sighed and smiled softly at her. "I just wanted you to know that I'm done."

She caught her breath, the tears welling up in her eyes stung. "Done," she repeated.

He nodded slowly. "I'm going back to New York tonight. I just needed you to know. I'm bowing out. Completely ungracefully," he added. "But bowing out all the same."

She frowned. "Why?" she asked. It was a stupid question. She knew it when she asked it. But she needed him to say just one more thing. She needed to hear his voice for just a few more seconds. She wanted something else. Some amazing last words. Something perfect.

He closed his eyes. "Because I love you."

She took a step forward. "Because you love me?" she asked, incredulous. "That's why you're leaving?"

He nodded. "I love you, Rory. And because I love you, I'm going to make the biggest sacrifice I've ever had to make. And I'm doing it for completely selfish reasons."

She watched him, waiting for him to continue.

"I can't do this anymore. I can't put myself through this. It just hurts too much. I love you. And if I love you, if I really love you, I should let you go." He let his tongue run over his lips. "But because I'm selfish, I couldn't leave without telling you goodbye."

She nodded as the tears in her eyes fell warm across her cheeks. "Please don't."

He shut his eyes tight, as if it physically pained him to hear that. "Don't do that to me, Rory. Please. Please don't ask me to stay."

"Why not?"

He took a deep breath. "Because if you say that to me I'll never leave."

She met his eyes, both had tears now streaming down their faces. "I love you."

He nodded. "I know that. But it's not my ring on your finger."

She glanced down at her hand and self consciously twisted her ring. "It was never supposed to be like this. I never wanted to hurt you."

He shook his head. "Before I go," he paused. "Before I go, I just want to know one thing. Just tell me the truth."

She took a breath and nodded. "I guess I owe you that."

"Do you love him?"

Rory bit her bottom lip and wiped at the tears under her eyes. "Tristan,"

"No. I don't want an apology. I don't want you to tell me that you have no other choice. I don't want an explanation or a twisted way to avoid the answer. I want you to tell me. Do you love him?"

They stood in silence for a long minute. She twisted her ring and he stood with his hands at his sides. Just waiting for her to speak. His entire purpose in life, his whole future depended on her answer. And she saw the soldier in him emerge. He stood calmly.

"I could never love him the way that I love you."

He nodded. "All I wanted was for you to give me a straight answer. I wanted you to tell me what you feel. What you want."

She stood, unmoving, not looking at him.

"And you couldn't even give me that."

She looked up at him, shaking her head. "Tristan, I-"

"I love you, Rory. I always will. I'll love you from wherever I am. Forever." He paused to clear his throat. He didn't bother to wipe away his tears. "I miss you more than there are stars in the sky." He smiled a bittersweet smile at her. "I love you. With all that I am." He stepped back then, turned his back on her and walked away.

She cried softly, tears streaming down her face. "I'll be wishing on every star for you," she whispered. "I love you. With all that I am." She shook with sobs.

And for the first time in her life, Rory realized that Tristan wasn't there. And the silence without him was deafening.


	9. Save Us

**This is definitely my longest chapter yet. And probably my quickest update! I hope you love it!**

Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls (obviously).

Chapter Nine: Save Us

* * *

Tristan stepped into his New York City apartment and flicked the lights on. "Welcome back, Dugrey," he mumbled to himself. He sighed, dropping his bag by the door and moving silently around the room. He ran his hands through his hair and got a cardboard box from the storage closet.

He sighed, picking up, first, the novel on the end table. He flipped through the pages slowly before placing it into the bottom of the box. Next he gathered each framed photograph in the room. He put every picture face down inside the box. He went into the kitchen and unplugged the coffee maker. He put that in the box too.

Tristan walked down the hall and into the bedroom. He opened his closet and nodded, as if to convince himself this was what he had to do. He moved slowly, looking at everything before putting it into the box. First he pulled out his favorite t-shirt, the one she'd always slept in. He folded it carefully and placed it on top of the pictures. He moved on to the sweater she'd given him for Christmas, the button up she'd pulled off of him after that horrible party at his parents' house.

After he was sure he'd gotten everything he taped the box shut and placed it beside the door. He sat down on the couch and dropped his face into his hands. And it was only then that he let the tears fall. He sat with his head in his hands and he cried. And this time, he cried not because his heart was shattered into pieces, though it was, he cried because this time he honestly believed that it was over.

When he didn't think he could possibly have another tear in him he stood. And he went into the bathroom, stripping off his shirt. He stood in front of the mirror and let his arms support his weight as he leaned against the counter. He looked up at his reflection and shook his head disgustedly. The face staring back at him was not his own. It was a broken, pathetic, shell of a person. And he hated the man she'd turned him into. He slowly traced over the scars on his skin with his eyes. As he did he could almost feel her hands there, tracing the skin.

He closed his eyes and shook his head to rid himself of the feeling he so desperately wanted to hold onto. He moved to start the water of the shower, finished removing the rest of his clothes, and stepped under the water.

It was hot against his skin and he let the water run over him in attempt to wash away the pain. It didn't. But then, he never really expected it to.

Tristan stepped out of the shower and pulled on his black sweats, not bothering with a shirt. He made his way back into his bedroom, running his fingers through his wet hair. He laid down on his still made bed and covered his eyes with his arms.

For the first time in what seemed like forever he could feel how truly exhausted he was. And he let himself drift off into sleep, where he was sure she would haunt his dreams.

-

Rory sat in the living room of her childhood home with her back against the couch. Her mother was above her, spread out on the sofa. They had been watching movie after movie all day long. Rory said it was in celebration of Lorelai's homecoming. But Lorelai knew better. Rory had been in her old sweatpants since Luke had carried Lorelai to the couch this morning. And she was pretty certain that was Tristan's old Army t-shirt underneath her sweatshirt. Though Rory would never admit it, her mother knew that she just needed some time to be upset over Tristan.

"Rory?"

She looked over her shoulder and immediately reached up to her mother. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

Lorelai sighed. "I'm fine babe. I was going to ask you that."

Rory shrugged. "Why wouldn't I be okay?" She looked down at the coffee mug in her hand and felt the tears well up in her eyes.

"Ror, honey," Lorelai paused. "It's okay to be upset."

"No it's not," she said, tears falling. She wiped them away furiously.

"Rory-"

"Stop it!" She moved away from the couch. "Just stop it okay!? Don't try to make me feel better! I don't deserve to feel better! I hurt him. I really hurt him. And I love him and I wish I could just make it all go away but I can't!"

Lorelai sat up straighter on the couch and held her arms out to Rory, who shook her head. "Come here."

Rory shook her head again. "No. I have no right to be upset!" She was shouting, tears falling from her cheeks and she made no move to wipe them away. "This is my fault! This was my choice!" She sobbed harder as she made her way over to Lorelai. "I just want to fix it," she mumbled, burying her face in Lorelai's shoulder. "I just want to make it better. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Lorelai held her daughter. It broke her heart to see Rory so miserable. "I know baby. I know."

They sat there like that for what seemed like forever. Rory clung to Lorelai and Lorelai wrapped her arms tighter around her daughter, trying and failing to ease her pain. After a while Rory pulled back slowly and wiped at her eyes. "I'm really sorry, Mom."

Lorelai smiled. "It's okay." She moved herself over slightly and motioned for Rory to sit next to her. She watched her daughter hesitantly for a few minutes, not knowing if she would speak.

Finally Rory cleared her throat. "He left."

"He left Jess's?"

Rory nodded. "He went back to New York."

Lorelai frowned. "Did you talk to Jess?" she asked, confusion lacing her face.

Rory shook her head quickly. "He came here," she stated. "To say goodbye." She looked over at her mother, her eyes welling up with tears once again. Lorelai looked at her, willing her to continue. "He said he was done."

"With what?" she asked, sure she already knew the answer.

Rory shrugged her shoulders. "Just done." Lorelai nodded. "He said he would always love me, from wherever he was, but he couldn't do this to himself anymore." She started crying again and Lorelai put an arm across her shoulders.

"Oh, honey."

"He said he was bowing out." She took a shaky breath. "He asked me if I loved Logan."

"What did you say?"

She shrugged. "I didn't really give him an answer," she paused. "I told him that I could never love Logan the way that I love him."

Lorelai sighed. "Rory," she paused and Rory looked over at her. "Honey," she tried again. "Do you love Logan?"

Rory took a deep breath. "Logan has been there for me through so much," she started, moving around a little to get comfortable. "He's dependable and funny. He plays along with my stupid bits. He's fun and charming." She shrugged her shoulders desperately. "Logan really loves me. He was there when I needed someone. He was there when I felt like I'd lost my way."

Lorelai watched as her daughter's face remained tortured and confused. She let Rory sort through her emotions.

"Of course I love Logan. He asked me to marry him and I said yes. I would never have said yes if I didn't love him. And I do..." She let her words trail off and Lorelai smiled knowingly.

"But?" she asked finally and Rory looked over at her.

"But," she stated. "He doesn't know what I'm feeling without looking at me." She shrugged. "He doesn't put double extra butter on my popcorn at the movies. He doesn't know that I love to waltz but hate the music or that I put chocolate milk on my cereal." She paused. "He doesn't make me feel silly and perfect all at the same time," she said, repeating the words that had been playing over and over in her head since the second he left.

Lorelai waited, watching her daughter sort out all of the thoughts that must have been swimming through her head.

"I love Logan." She sighed, looking over at Lorelai.

"But are you in love with Logan?"

Rory shook her head. "Of course not." She smiled sadly. "Logan isn't Tristan."

Lorelai nodded. "What are you gonna' do, babe?"

Rory shook her head. "I don't know. I really don't know." She ran her fingers through her hair. "No matter what I do I hurt someone that I love." She shrugged her shoulders desperately and looked to her mother. "So what do I do?"

"What do you want, Rory? Not what will hurt someone the least. Not what do you think is best. What do you truly want?"

She nodded, taking a deep breath. "I want the guy that can smile at me and change my whole day. I want the guy that cooks breakfast in his boxers." She laughed, tears falling slowly. "I want the guy that reads my favorite books aloud to me." She took a shaky breath. "I want the guy that misses me more than there are stars in the sky."

Lorelai nodded, a smile spreading across her face. Rory looked over at her and smiled, nodding slowly in return. "I want Tristan," she shrugged. "I've always wanted Tristan."

"So now what?"

Rory sighed. "I don't know. After everything, he might not even want me anymore."

Lorelai chuckled. Rory glanced over at her, surprised. "Babe, after everything Tristan has been through for you there's no way he doesn't want you."

Rory smiled slightly, then her smile faded as she realization washed over her. "What am I going to say to Logan?"

-

Tristan sat behind the desk in his New York office. He pulled at the tie around his neck and raked his free hand through his hair. He'd been back at the office for a few days now and was back into the business world. It felt almost as if he'd never left. Everything in this world always remained the same. His father's clients, everyone in a black suit, husbands working late, secretaries working late. It was all the same.

He sighed and leaned back in his chair stretching his arms behind his head as the office phone rang. He leaned up to push the button. "What's up, Steph?" Stephanie was his secretary. She was a sweet girl, relatively new to the business and not yet corrupted. He hoped she stayed that way.

"There's someone here to see you when you have a second, Mr. Dugrey." Stephanie's voice came over the speaker.

"Who is it, Stephanie?"

It was silent for a second before she said, "Um...your personal hotel service?"

Tristan laughed. "Dark hair, kinda skinny, black jacket?"

"Yes, sir."

"Go ahead and send him up." Tristan shook his head, pushing the button to end the call and pushing the papers in front of him to the side. At the knock on his door he hollered, "Come in."

The door opened to reveal a smirking Jess. "Wow, nice digs, Mr. Dugrey."

Tristan chuckled, nodding and gesturing for him to sit. "Yeah well," he shrugged.

"How have you been?"

Tristan sighed and shrugged again. "What brings you to the big apple?"

Jess laughed. "Publisher actually," he said. "I had a meeting this morning and I figured since I was in town I might as well stop in and see you in action."

"You mean check up on me," Tristan argued and Jess shrugged.

"Yeah," he nodded. "That too."

"I'm okay," Tristan said. Jess gave him a pointed look and he sighed. "I'm not great. I'm not even good. But I'm okay. I'm here. I'm showing up for work. I'm living."

Jess nodded. "That's all I can ask for I guess."

Tristan smiled lightly. "So since you're here, you want to grab something to eat? I can ditch out of here a little early."

Jess shrugged. "I could eat," he said.

Tristan nodded and stood, grabbing his jacket and briefcase. He draped his suit jacket over his arm and reached for the button on the phone. "Steph."

"Yes, Mr. Dugrey?" Her voice came over the speaker sounding ready to do anything he asked her to. And he smiled at her work ethic.

"I'm taking off early," he said and waited for her response.

"Okay, sir. I'll note all of your messages and have them on your desk for tomorrow morning."

Tristan chuckled. "That's not necessary, Steph. Why don't you just forward all the calls to my office answering machine and cut out early too."

"Mr. Dugrey-" She started but Tristan cut her off.

"Stephanie. I insist. Please."

"Thank you, sir." He could almost hear her smile and he laughed and looked up to a smiling Jess.

"Ready to head out?" He asked and Tristan nodded. Jess led the way out of his office and Tristan flicked the lights off before locking the door and pulling it shut.

They reached Tristan's apartment a few short block later and he unlocked the door quickly, hitting the lights and motioning Jess to follow him in. "I've just got to change clothes quick," he said, moving to the bedroom and leaving Jess to wander around the living room.

Jess let his eyes move over the room and frowned as he noticed the subtle differences. As Tristan emerged from the bedroom he saw Jess's eyes flash to the box beside the door.

Jess looked up to Tristan, who was now changed into a navy blue sweater and jeans. "What's with the box?" He asked, not bothering to avoid the subject. But then, Jess never really was one to dance around the point.

Tristan shrugged his shoulders. "I just can't seem to bring myself to throw it out."

Jess nodded. "So the majority of decoration you had in your living room is..?"

"In the box," Tristan confirmed. "Yeah."

Jess sighed and gave a sad smirk. "Yeah," he repeated. They stood in silence for a few moments. Jess knew Tristan wanted to ask about Rory. Hell he wanted to tell him anything he could think of about Rory. But truthfully he just couldn't do that to him. Finally Jess spoke. "Let's go, man. I'm starving."

Tristan smiled lightly and nodded, grabbing his jacket from the back of the couch and heading for the door. He glanced over his shoulder and Jess followed.

Tristan couldn't seem to get out of the room fast enough, but Jess lingered a few seconds longer than normal and looked at the box. He shook his head sadly and hit the light switch, pulling the door shut behind him.

-

Rory sat alone on the couch in the living room, cup of coffee in her hand, Tristan's letters scattered about on the coffee table. She picked up the first letter he'd written her, gazing over his handwriting. She let her fingers trace the words and she sighed, closing her eyes. She didn't have to read this one anymore. She knew it by heart.

_Dear Mary, _

_I'm not sure when you'll get this exactly. They all say the mail here is the definition of snail mail. But I'll write you every single chance that I get. It's so different here than it was at basics. From what I gather it's basically just down time. So until we get sent out on a mission I should be able to write you every day. But the way it sounds we'll be sent out quickly. For right now, there are a few things I want you to remember. First, that I love you. You know that I love you. You're my entire world and I could never be the person that I am today without you. To be honest, you're my best friend. You're the only person in the entire world that I can see straight through. I don't even have to look at you to know what you're thinking. And I never want that to change. No matter where I go, or how far away I get you will always be my last thought before sleep and my first thought when I wake. People talk about how the war changes them. I want to promise you that as long as I have you I'll stay exactly the person that I am. Nothing could take away my love for you. And that's my promise. Don't worry too much about me. I know that you will anyway. But as long as I love you, I'm safe. Because nothing else matters. Never forget that. _

_I miss you more than there are stars in the sky. I love you. With all that I am. _

_Tristan_

She opened her eyes, a smile on her face.

"How you doing, babe?" Lorelai asked, hobbling slightly on her crutches as she slowly lowered herself onto the couch beside Rory.

Rory shrugged. "I'm," she paused to sigh. "I'm scared."

Lorelai nodded knowingly. "Yeah."

Rory let out a breath and set the letter back on the coffee table with the others, folding her arms over her chest as if she were hugging herself.

"Has Logan called?"

Rory looked up quickly and met Lorelai's eyes. She nodded reluctantly. "Every few hours for a while. Then I stopped answering most of his calls. He started calling less after that."

"What did you tell him?"

Rory shrugged. "I told him that I needed to be here with you right now. That I just needed some time with you." She looked away guiltily. "It wasn't really a lie. I mean I do need to spend time with you right now. I need to be here. Away from everyone else for a while."

Lorelai wrapped an arm around Rory's shoulders. "You have to talk to him, Rory." She kissed her daughter's hair and sighed. "This isn't just going to go away."

"I just need some answers!" Her voice was miserable and desperate.

"Honey, the only person that can give you true answers has already told you everything you ever need to know."

Rory looked up, confusion lacing her features and Lorelai smiled.

"He loves you. He is always going to love you. No matter what happens or where he is he loves you. You, Rory. Tristan picked you forever. He doesn't want anyone else and he'll be miserable and alone loving you because you are the girl for him. You know everything that you need to know, sweetie. You just have to choose."

Rory closed her eyes tight, tears falling silently but she shook them away. She took a deep breath and nodded, reaching out and taking her phone from the coffee table. Her hands shook slightly as she dialed the familiar number. "Hey." She took a deep breath. "Can you come here?" She wiped at the tears that were falling again, but attempted to keep her voice smooth. "I have to tell you something. It's really important." She waited for a moment and then nodded her head. "Thank you."

She hung up the phone, sliding it away from her on the coffee table. Lorelai held her arms open and Rory buried herself in her mother's embrace. "That's my good girl," she mumbled into Rory's hair. "It's all going to be okay."

Lorelai sat with Rory until the doorbell rang about a half hour later. "Come in!" she yelled, kissing Rory on the forehead and moving to hobble herself into the kitchen.

Rory looked up at his eyes. She sighed and patted the seat of the couch next to her. He sat, facing her slightly, a worried expression on his face. "I need to talk to you," she said, trying to keep her tears under control.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his face showed nothing but confusion and concern. And that made what she was going to do so much harder.

She took a breath. "Logan," she started. Tears were falling now. And he was confused and she was afraid. "I love you," she said, looking directly into his eyes. She wanted him to know that she wasn't lying. That she really did love him.

He smiled a little. "I love you too, Ace."

She shook her head and reached out to take his hands in her own. He glanced down at their hands and then back up at her face quickly before slightly pulling his hands away. He met her eyes and she held his gaze. "Where's your ring?"

She bit her bottom lip. "Logan." She took a deep, sobbing breath. "I need you to believe that I honestly love you." She attempted a smile and he frowned, shaking his head.

"What are you doing?"

"Please just hear me out," she begged, pulling at his arm to move him closer to her. "I need you to hear this."

His face remained in a frown and she grabbed his hands again. This time he let her hold them. "You have been here for me through so much. You've been so incredible to me, Logan. And I'm so thankful that I had the chance to have you in my life." She paused. "You've made me happier than I thought I could have been during these past few months. And I love you for that. I really do."

He closed his eyes. He wouldn't cry. She knew he wouldn't. It didn't mean that he didn't love her. But he wouldn't cry. He wouldn't be that vulnerable in front of her. And they both knew it.

"Logan," she started again. "You know how when you're little and you want the perfect Christmas gift? And you stay up too late in bed and you pray and pray that if you get it you'll do anything?"

He let the ghost of a smile flit across his face as he nodded. She smiled at him, tears streaming down her face. "You are someone's prayer Logan." She nodded at him. "You're wonderful and brilliant and amazing. And you're someone's prayer." She locked her eyes on his and smiled at him. "And I love you. I really do." She took a slow, shaky breath. "But you're not my prayer."

He took a breath and pulled his hands away from hers, gently this time. "I love you, you know," he said. She nodded at him.

"And I love you," she whispered. She reached to the coffee table and picked up the ring next to the pile of letters. "But you aren't mine." She held the ring out to him. He looked from the ring in her hand to the her face. He nodded slowly and reached out to take it.

He stood and stepped back from her, putting the ring into his pocket. He watched her for a minute before smiling lightly. "He really loves you, you know."

She looked at him, surprised, but nodded. "I'm just worried he won't want me after all this," she admitted quietly.

Logan shook his head. "He'd be crazy not to want you, Rory Gilmore."

She smiled at him and he turned to go. "Logan." He turned and looked at her expectantly. "Thank you," she said, nodding her head at him.

He gave her a single nod. "Goodbye, Ace." He turned then and a few seconds later she heard the door close behind him.

Rory tipped her head back against the couch and put her hands over her eyes.

"How'd he take it?"

She looked up to see Lorelai leaning on her crutches by the side of the couch.

Rory sighed. "He was," she shrugged. "Graceful and courteous." She smiled lightly. "Just like I knew he'd be."

Lorelai sat down and hugged her daughter, staying silent.

"The complete opposite of what Tristan would've been," she said. "He would've argued. He would've begged me to stay." She let out a dark chuckle. "He did do all that."

"Well," Lorelai spoke up. "At least the hard part's over with." She nudged Rory with her elbow. Rory shook her head.

"I don't know that there's any easy part to all this."

Lorelai pulled herself up with her crutches and gestured for Rory to follow her. They went through the kitchen and into Rory's room. Lorelai leaned down and tossed the empty suitcase on the bed. Rory looked over at her with a frown.

"Babe, if you don't leave tonight you never will."

Rory nodded slowly, remembering Tristan's words. _"If you ask me to stay I'll never leave." _She smiled, nerves and anxiety creeping into her stomach, getting butterflies at the thought of him.

"I can't do this! How do I do this?"

Lorelai smiled. "You can do this, Rory. You love him."

She took a deep breath and moved to her dresser, taking out anything and everything. Lorelai laughed, raising an eyebrow. "Packing for life?"

Rory smiled lightly. "I honestly don't know how long to pack for. I've taken the next couple weeks off work to stay with you." She stopped and started taking clothes out of her suitcase. "What if he doesn't want me to stay? What if he changed his mind?"

Lorelai reached out to grab Rory's hands. "Rory, I want you to take a huge breath and think about this for me. Think about how well you know Tristan." She smiled. "He is your best friend. You can tell him anything. He loves you." Rory bit her bottom lip. "Rory, he loves you," Lorelai repeated. "I promise you."

Rory took a deep breath and nodded, going back to packing. Within twenty minutes she had her bags in the back seat en route to New York.

She kept the music on loud, as if possibly it could drown out her doubts and drive her faster toward Tristan.

She turned down the music as she drove into New York and reached for her cell phone. She dialed the number and it rang twice before he answered. "Hey, Ror."

"Jess," she breathed. "I'm in New York."

She could hear the smile in his voice. "For Tristan?"

"For Tristan," she confirmed. "Have you talked to him?"

"I was there a couple days ago. We didn't talk about you much. I didn't want to hit a nerve, you know?"

Rory sighed. "Listen Jess, I need to know how you think he feels."

"Are you crazy, Rory?" He paused. When she said nothing he continued. "He loves you."

"But does he still even want me?"

Jess smirked. "He's a mess without you. He honestly believes that it's over. He doesn't think you'll come after him. He thinks you're going to marry Logan. But he told me he'd never be with anyone else. Because you're the one for him."

Rory felt the tears well in her eyes and she smiled. "That's all I needed."

"Good girl," he said, hanging up the phone. She closed her phone and tossed it into her passenger seat as she pulled up in front of Tristan's building. She took a deep breath and got out of the car.

She made her way quickly into the building, passing by the doormen easily. She'd practically lived here at one time. She flew up the stairs so she wouldn't have the elevator time to think.

-

Tristan stood against the sink. The sleeves of his button up were rolled to his elbows and his hands were soapy from the dishes he was washing. He frowned, hearing a knock on his door. He grabbed a kitchen towel, drying his hands as he made his way to the door.

He glanced down at the box before unhooking the latch. As hard as he tried, he could never cut her memory out of his life. He couldn't ever throw the box away. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair and he pulled the door open.

He looked up at the person behind the door and dropped the towel in his hand. He couldn't move. He stood there, studying her eyes, her hair, her nose, her lips.

"Hi," she mumbled finally and he took a step back. She took a step forward into the apartment and let the door close behind her. He didn't speak as she looked around the room, noticing the subtle differences. Noticing that the difference was that she was no longer part of it.

She bit her bottom lip and shrugged at him. Tristan's eyes never left her. He watched every move that she made. She took another step forward. He took one back.

"What are you doing here, Rory?" he asked. It wasn't harsh or bitter. It was simply curious. He wasn't going to let her get any closer to him until he knew why she was here. It was to protect himself, she knew.

"I missed you," she stated simply. He met her eyes. "I've been going through everything since the night you left. I read all of your letters again, looked at all the pictures. Made a million lists." She shrugged her shoulders desperately. "And after I made every single list do you know what I did?"

He shook his head slowly. "I tore it up," she said. "I tore it up and threw it away. Every single one." Her eyes were completely full of tears now and they began to fall. It killed him not to reach out and wipe her tears away. But he stood still. He had to wait. He had to be sure. "Because it didn't matter," She said.

"Tristan," she shrugged. "I realized something. Something I should've realized a long time ago." She smiled softly. He swallowed, clenching his fists and trying as hard as he could not to touch her. "You're my prayer," she finally whispered, holding out her left hand.

He caught his breath. No ring. He looked at her, tears welling in his own eyes and she nodded at him slowly. "I love you, Tristan. I've always loved you."

He took a step towards her. "If I take another step towards you," he paused, trying to control himself. "I won't be able to control myself anymore."

She met his eyes and saw how hard it was for him to stand there. She smiled. "Well what are you waiting for? Get over here."

He let a smile slip onto his lips and he moved forward, wrapping his arms around her and pressing his mouth against hers. He picked her up as she wrapped her legs around his waist. He kissed her with everything that he had.

Her lips moved against his like magic. "God, Mary." He groaned at the long awaited contact. "I fucking missed you." She smiled against his lips and sucked lightly on his bottom lip. He moved his mouth to her neck as he laid her down on the couch, coming to rest over top of her.

Her hands moved to the buttons of his shirt and he moved his lips back to her mouth. "I love you, Tristan," she whispered against his skin. He moved his hand around to the small of her back, sending shivers up her spine.

"You have no idea, Mary." He mumbled as she pulled his shirt over his shoulders, throwing it across the room.

"Hold onto me forever?" Her voice was vulnerable and pleading and he moved to press his forehead against hers. He kissed her, nodding his head against hers.

"Forever," he agreed. She smiled and pulled him back to her. And in that moment, it was as if they'd never been apart. He still knew every single inch of her. And he never wanted to let her out from under him. For right now all that mattered was that she loved him and she was here. Everything else could wait.


	10. Back Under The Stars

**I'm back! I hope you love it! You deserve to after how long it's been! I apologize! Check out my profile for some other updates! Enjoy it!**

Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls (obviously.)

Chapter Nine: Back Under The Stars

Tristan stood quietly in front of the bedroom window, watching the rain fall hard outside. The drops hit the window, sliding down the pane so rapidly he could barely see the city on the other side. He was leaning gently against the frame of the window, his eyes trained on following the droplets make curving, unpredictable paths on the glass.

He'd been standing there for what felt like a good hour when he felt eyes on him. He turned his head smoothly to see Rory standing a few feet away from him. She was wrapped only in a sheet. He always thought she looked best just like that. He let his mouth turn up in a half smile and held an arm out to her, welcoming her into his side.

She moved over to him quickly, wrapping her arms around his bare torso and hugging him close to her. "Hey, baby," he mumbled into her hair and she pressed a light kiss against his skin, turning to stand in front of him as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her back against him and resting his chin on the top of her head.

"What are you doing up?" she asked softly, reaching out to trace the rain on the window with her fingers.

She felt him shrug. He leaned his head down on hers and hugged her tightly to him for a few moments before he turned her around and looked down at her, searching her eyes. "Promise me this isn't a dream," he whispered.

She wanted to cry at the vulnerability in his voice. She leaned up to capture his lips in a slow kiss. She pulled back softly and pressed her forehead against his. "This isn't a dream," she whispered back. "I promise you."

He breathed a sigh of relief and smiled lightly. "I've had this dream so many times," he mumbled, pulling her in as close as he possibly could. "And I always wake up."

"This is real," she said, letting her fingers graze over the hair at the nape of his neck. "I'm here."

He nodded. "I missed seeing you in my bed"

She laughed and he gave her a wide smirk. "I missed being in your bed," she agreed. He pressed a kiss to her temple.

Rory leaned up to kiss him slowly. "I missed you," she whispered against his lips and he nodded, pulling her into him tight.

"You have no idea."

Rory took his hand, pulling him away from the window and back to the bed. She sat and he followed suit, lowering himself down next to her. She turned towards him, tucking her legs underneath of her and pulling the sheet tighter against herself. "Tristan," she started and he looked over, almost studying her, waiting for her to continue. "Maybe we should talk," she suggested and he took a deep breath, nodding.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. He nodded, moving closer. "I know that isn't enough. And I know that I have no right to even be here now," she paused.

"I love you," he said and she sighed, exasperated. "You don't need to do this. I know."

"I know that," she said desperately. "And I know that you love me. I love you too. But why," she paused and locked eyes with him. "Tristan, why are you just letting me crawl back to you like this?" She turned away from him. "I hurt you, Tristan. I know that. I was horrible and I hurt you more than I ever dreamed that I could. And then when I come here with my tail between my legs you just open up your arms like nothing I did matters." She shook her head. "I don't deserve for you to love me anymore."

He reached out and pulled her face back toward his own. "Mary," he sighed, pulling her closer. "I could sit here and I could tell you that you hurt me, that I've been a miserable wreck of a person since the day you walked out that door. I could tell you that I've barely even been alive these past months." He stopped and watched her look away from him again, shamefully. He sighed. "And it would all be true. I've been a worthless shell of a person. I've hated myself. I've hated the person I became." He shrugged his shoulders and turned her face back towards him again. "But in all that time, Rory, in everything I was feeling, I hated it. I hate that all of this got so twisted and broken. But through all of it, I never hated _you_. Not once."

She met his eyes now. "Why?"

He smiled. "Because even though I was hurting, even though I felt like my whole world was burning around me, I still loved you. I never stopped loving you, Mar." He shrugged. "The only thing that truly kept me going was you. I know how stupid that sounds. But as much as the thought of you with him absolutely tore me to shreds inside, if he was what made you happy and if he was what you wanted then that's what I wanted for you. I just wanted you to be happy. And if you were happy, I told myself I could let you go." He smiled. "All I've ever wanted to do was make you happy. And if being the guy that let you go was what could do that for you then that's what I wanted."

"You are what makes me happy," she whispered, taking his face in her hands. "Only you." Rory shook her head slowly, tears streaming down her face. "God, Tristan. I don't deserve you."

He smiled, shrugging his shoulders and brushing her hair back with his fingers. "Yeah, well, you're stuck with me."

She laughed and wiped at the tears on her face. "Good."

He reached out, pulling her towards him and pressing his lips to her forehead. "It's okay," he whispered. "It's all okay."

Rory nodded against his mouth, pulling herself closer to him, snuggling into his hold. And he held her there, pulling her against him, relishing the feel of her in his arms. He'd missed everything about her. Her voice, her touch, her laugh. Everything.

He pressed a kiss into her hair and moved to get up. "You hungry?" She raised an eyebrow at him and he laughed. "Right," he smirked. "Stupid question."

She smiled and nodded her head in agreement. "I'll meet you in the kitchen?" He nodded slowly. "I'm going to call my mom."

He smiled back at her in understanding and moved out of the room. He made his way through the living room towards the kitchen. He stopped quickly and realized that the box was still sitting beside the door.

He walked over and opened it, pulling out the t-shirt he was certain she'd be looking for and the coffee maker. He set the coffee maker on the counter in the kitchen and walked back down the hallway, tossing the t-shirt through the door. It landed on the bed right in front of her and she smiled. She looked up at him and mouthed a thank you. He winked at her and went back to the kitchen.

The sun was up now and streaming through the windows. He smiled, pulling out the eggs and the stand alone griddle she'd gotten him for Christmas a few years back. _"So you can make my breakfast faster." _ She'd said and he'd laughed. He shook his head now at the memory and reached up into the cupboard for the coffee. He started the coffee and set a cup out for her beside the coffee maker.

She came up behind him in the kitchen a few minutes later. She wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and rested her head against his back. He reached down and linked his fingers with hers on his stomach. "How did Lorelai feel about your wake up call?"

She laughed. "Let's just say it was lucky that I was the one calling this morning with the way she answered the phone."

He chuckled, flipping two of the eggs. "What did you tell her?"

She moved out from behind him and over to the coffee maker to pour herself a cup. "I told her I was here." She smiled. "She asked how our night went.." she trailed off and Tristan looked over at her with a smirk.

"And you said it was the best night of your life?" She blushed lightly and he reached out and grazed her cheek. "God, I love making you do that."

She smiled, embarrassed. "I told her that I realized just how much I missed you." He nodded. "In every possible way," she added and he raised an eyebrow at her. She shrugged, taking a sip out of her cup. "It's true," she said.

He nodded his agreement. "No argument."

She stepped closer to him. "Any chance you have some of those eggs done?" He laughed and flipped the last one, handing her a plate and taking his own plate into the living room. They sat on the couch, her legs curled underneath her, covered by his shirt. He sat in his boxers with his elbows on his knees.

He looked over at her, watching her eat. He loved the way that she looked right now. Her hair was a mess, his t-shirt fell off her shoulder slightly, and her legs peeked out just a little from underneath of her. He studied her intensely and she glanced up at him after a few moments, noticing his stare. "What?" she asked, self consciously.

He shook his head. "I just love watching you," he admitted. "You're killing me in that shirt, you know."

She smiled. "Like you don't know it drives me insane when you cook in your boxers." He tipped his head to the side in admittance and took a bite of his eggs.

"So, Friday," she said and he laughed, nodding. "You have work?"

He sighed but nodded as she moved back a little, sitting up fully so she could face him. "I should go in for a while," he said, his voice laced with regret but she nodded quickly.

"Yeah, go," she said and he raised an eyebrow, surprised at her reaction.

"You're not going to beg me to stay?" He asked. "Spend all day in bed with you, doing unspeakable things that you'll very ungracefully skip over when you recap your mother," he teased and she laughed, shoving his shoulder.

"I would love it if you stayed," she said. "But you need to go. You can't skip work forever." She smiled when he looked surprised. "I know you," she added. "And I'm sure you've gotten very little work done in the last few months."

He chuckled, running his fingers up and through his hair but nodded. "You know me too well, Mary."

She smiled. "So you go to work. I can stick around here and," she shrugged. Put your pictures back up?" She gave him a nervous smile.

He nodded. "In the box."

She nodded back at him, glancing toward the door. "I wondered what that was."

"I was planning on throwing it out," he trailed off slightly and she looked up at him again. "I just couldn't ever bring myself to get it past the door."

"I'm glad," she said and he merely smiled.

"If I'm going to work I need a shower and a suit," he said, kissing her temple and making his way back towards the bedroom.

She moved back through the living room and grabbed the bag she'd left by the door last night. She went back into the bedroom and called for him.

"In the bathroom," he answered and she heard the shower start. "You're welcome to join me," he invited. She laughed but made her way into the bathroom, stepping into the shower behind him.

–

An hour later Rory was brushing out her hair as Tristan tied his tie in front of the bedroom mirror. "Can you help me with this?" he asked and she turned, smiling and moving toward him. She reached up and tied it with practiced ease.

"Perfect," he commended. "You always could tie these better than I could."

She smiled and went back to brushing through her hair. He went to the closet, grabbing his suit jacket and pulling it over his shoulders. She turned to look at him and caught her breath. She stared at him as he straightened out his clothes.

He glanced over and caught her stare. "Like what you see, Mary?"

She laughed. "I forgot how amazing you look in a suit is all."

He winked at her and leaned over to kiss her quickly. "I need to get going. If you need me just call my cell."

She nodded, leaning up to kiss him again. "I might stop by this afternoon if you aren't too busy," she offered.

"Please do," he said and she nodded again. "I'll see you later?"

"Count on it," she said. "Hey Tristan." He turned to face her with a raised eyebrow and she smiled at him lightly. "I love you."

He grinned. "I love you." They looked at each other for a few seconds before he finally turned away. She heard the apartment door close a few seconds later.

Rory finished getting ready and made her way into the living room. She picked up the box and set it on the table in front of the couch. She pulled it open and began removing the contents. The first thing that she pulled out was a white button up shirt. She smiled, holding the shirt against her nose to inhale his scent. She knew exactly why this shirt was here.

_Tristan stood in the corner of the room, a glass of scotch in hand. His tie hung loose around his neck and the top button of his shirt was undone. She made her way over to him with a knowing, sympathetic smile. "Hey, handsome." She reached out and pulled slightly at his tie as he ran a hand up and through his hair. He didn't return her greeting. _

_Rory reached up and ran her hand over his shirt collar and to the hair at the nape of his neck. "What happened?" _

_He shrugged and took a long drink from his scotch glass, finishing it off. "I was born into the wrong family," he said. _

_She sighed, reaching up to kiss him on the cheek. "Your father again?" _

_He didn't answer her, only ran his tongue across his lips and stepped back from her. "Tristan." _

"_I need a drink," he muttered. He turned his back on her, walking away. She rolled her eyes and followed him to the bar. She took the glass from the bartender before he had a chance to grab it and looked at him pointedly. _

"_Mary, I really don't have the patience for this right now," he sighed, reaching up to loosen his tie even further. He reached out for the glass and she pulled it further away. "Rory," he started. _

"_Tristan," she mocked. "What the hell is wrong with you?" He said nothing, merely scoffed and looked away. She reached out and pulled his face back to her. "I should slap you for being such a righteous asshole right now." _

_He shrugged, leaning against the bar. "Well at least give me my drink back before you do." _

_Rory shook her head at him angrily and reached over the bar, pouring his scotch down the sink. "Don't be such an arrogant prick." And with the final word she turned away from him and made her way for the door. _

_Tristan ran both hands over his face and into his hair. Why did he do that? Why did he always do that? She was only trying to help. He let out an exasperated sigh and pushed himself off the bar to follow her. He made his way out the back doors and into the garden. He saw her sitting on the bench in the middle of the yard. He made his way over to her and stood behind her. _

"_Rory," he started, softer this time. _

_She let out a dark chuckle and shook her head. "Don't, Tristan." She shrugged. "I don't want to hear it." _

_Tristan let out a breath. She did want to hear it. She just wanted him to think through it enough to actually realize that for himself. "Ror, I'm sorry." _

_She didn't turn around. "You're an asshole." _

_He nodded. "That too." He reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. She pulled away and he let out another sigh. "Mary, I really am sorry." _

_She shook her head. "I was only trying to make you feel better." She wiped at the tears welling in her eyes and silently cursed herself for crying. "You know the only reason I'm here tonight is because I thought you might need me." _

_Tristan sighed, raking his fingers through his hair. What was wrong with him? How could he do something that would make her cry? God, her tears tore him to pieces inside. He sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer. This time she didn't push him away. "I do need you," he muttered. "I'm sorry I was such a jerk. I got into it with my dad and," he paused, shrugging his shoulders desperately. "I shouldn't have taken it out on you." _

_She nodded. "No. You shouldn't have."_

_He pulled her tighter against him. "I'm really sorry, Mar. You know having you here is the only way I can force myself through these things." _

_They sat in silence for a long few minutes before she let out a deep breath and shook her head. She turned to face him slowly. "How bad was it?" _

_He glanced away and then back to her. "Nothing I can't handle," he said. She reached up to touch his face and he let his eyes close. "You know I'd lose myself in this life if it wasn't for you." _

_She let a soft smile grace her features and leaned in to kiss him. Her lips moved slowly and softly against his. "I'm not going anywhere," she whispered and she felt him smile against the kiss. _

"_Thank God," he mumbled and she laughed. He moved from her lips to her neck and began placing warm kisses against the skin there before moving up to nip at her earlobe with his lips. _

"_Can we go somewhere?" she asked quietly, her voice coming out breathy and desperate. He nodded, pulling back from her neck, taking slow breaths. _

"_Pool house?" He asked, raising an eyebrow and she nodded back at him. He pulled her to her feet and led her around the back of the main house and into the pool house. _

_He backed her slowly into the bedroom. Their shoes were lost somewhere by the door and Tristan already had Rory's dress pulled halfway down her body. She reached up to undo the buttons on his shirt as he laid them down on the bed. _

"_I love this shirt," she mumbled and he smiled. _

"_Why's that?" he asked against the skin of her collarbone and she shivered and shook her head. _

"_I have no idea," she whispered almost incoherently and he pulled her dress the rest of the way off. "But it makes you look perfect." _

_He smirked and went back to his torture on her neck as she pushed the shirt the rest of the way off, soon followed by the rest of their clothing. _

She pulled herself out memory land and back into reality, setting the shirt down on the couch and reach into the box to pull out the pictures. She grabbed the top frame and traced her fingers over the image. She smiled. It was the one of them the day Tristan's plane landed for his first leave. She put it down and reached for another one, smiling at the one she pulled out.

"_Mary come on! Jess is going to kill us if we're late!" _

_She rolled her eyes at herself in the mirror. "Calm down, Tristan! We'll be fine!" She hollered out of the bathroom. She heard his footsteps and turned to look at him as he reached the door frame. _

"_What could you possibly be doing in here?" He asked, raising an eyebrow and glancing over her. "You look ready to me." _

_She sighed. "And that, darling boy, is why you're a guy." _

_He shook his head and reached into the bathroom. He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her towards him, flipping off the light. _

"_What are you doing!" _

_He turned to face her and rolled his eyes. "Mary, you're perfect. You don't need to look again." _

_She smiled, shaking her head. "I'm far from perfect." _

_Tristan laughed and pulled her against him, kissing her forehead. "No, baby, you're perfect." _

_Rory chuckled and let him drag her along. "If you say so," she sing-songed and he shook his head at her. "Now come on we're going to be late!" _

_He laughed and let her pull him to the car. The second they arrived at his book signing Jess came rushing up to them. "You're late." _

_Tristan gave Rory a pointed look and she rolled her eyes. "By like two minutes." _

_Jess shook his head at the both of them and motioned for them to follow. They made their way to the front of the room to see Lorelai and Luke front and center. Lorelai had her camera out and ready. The entire thing had been documented almost second by second. _

_As Jess's publisher was giving his welcoming speech Rory leaned over and pulled Jess towards her so she could whisper in his ear. "You, Jess Mariano, are one of the most amazing and inspiring people I know. And I'm so proud of you." He looked her in the eye and smiled sincerely. She reached up to kiss him on the cheek. And that's when Lorelai had snapped the picture. _

_Tristan had his left hand laced with Rory's at her hip, his right hand rested against Jess's left arm. His eyes were on Jess's as they shared a 'this is it' sort of smile. Rory was leaned up kissing Jess's left cheek and his left arm was wrapped around her waist, his right hand shoved into his pocket. It was the best picture out of all that were taken that day. It showed their relationships perfectly. _

Rory smiled, pulling out another frame. They were dancing. One of her grandparents' many functions. He wore a his dress blues, looking nothing short of charming. She wore a silver strapless dress that fell to the floor. He had his arms wound around her and they were laughing. One of the best pictures of their relationship. She remembered everything about that night.

"_Dance with me," he mumbled into her ear as he came up behind her, wrapping one arm around her waist. She glanced up at him and he grinned. "Please?" _

_Rory laughed but nodded. "Since you said please," she said and he winked, taking her hand and leading her to the dance floor. _

_Tristan wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in close to him. "Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?" His eyes fell to find hers. _

_She smiled. "About a million times," she nodded. _

"_Hmm," he hummed, resting his head on hers. "Then I'm not nearly finished." _

_She sighed, shaking her head against his. "I love you," she muttered and he smiled. _

"_I love you back." _

_Rory let herself move out of his arms, keeping hold of his hand as he spun her around and back into him again. She reached up to grip the collar of his uniform. "You know," she started and he looked down to raise an eyebrow at her. "You look pretty incredible in this uniform." She grinned up at him. Mischief sparkling in her eyes. _

_He raised both eyebrows and smirked. "Oh you think so, do you?" He asked, pulling her as close as possible to him. He leaned down to press his mouth against her ear. "I look much better out of this uniform." _

_She looked up, meeting his eyes. She laughed. She wasn't quite sure why she was even laughing but she was. A contagious laugh that made him join her. For a moment they just watched each other, laughing. Appreciating something that only the two of them could ever understand. A moment that would make any bystander jealous of the connection they shared. That was when someone snapped a picture. And like all of the best photos in their relationship, they had no idea. _

The rest of that evening, she recalled, had been more than eventful. They'd moved out of the limelight and into the coat closet for a suspiciously long period of time. One of the most entertaining society parties she'd ever attended.

Rory smiled and set that picture with the others, pulling out a few more frames. There were so many pictures she'd forgotten they'd even taken. The one of him tickling her mercilessly on the floor in front of the couch on one of their many Stars Hollow movie nights.

She pulled out the last picture in the box and laughed. Their first Valentine's Day together. They looked so young. She was wearing a red sweater and jeans and he was in jeans and brown long sleeved t-shirt. He was standing behind her, both of his arms wrapped around her waist, their fingers laced as they smiled for Lorelai behind the camera.

Rory stood, making her way around the room, placing pictures all around, some on the walls, some on the end tables and shelves. When she was finished she looked around the room and nodded to herself. "Perfect," she mumbled, sitting herself back down on the couch. She pulled the box back over to her and finished sorting through the things. She hung the clothes back in his closet, put the books back on the table beside his chair.

Once everything was back in it's place she put the box by the door and went to the bedroom to get her jacket. She pulled it over her shoulders and made her way into his office, taking the apartment key from the left top drawer.

She flipped the light switch and grabbed the box as she made her way out the door. She took the elevator to the first floor and smiled as she passed the doorman. "Afternoon, Miss Gilmore, nice to see you back around here."

She nodded. "It's good to be back, Charlie." He tipped his hat to her and she laughed, making her way out of the building to walk the few blocks to Tristan's office.

She walked into the building and took the elevator to the top floor, stopping at Tristan's secretary. "Is there something I can help you with?" She asked.

"I'm here to see Tristan is he in?"

"Is Mr. Dugrey expecting you?"

Rory smiled and nodded. His secretary nodded back and called his office. "Mr. Dugrey there's a young lady here to see you." She paused, waiting for his response. "Yes, sir." She turned to Rory. "Go on in, Miss.." she trailed off.

"Gilmore," Rory supplied and the secretary nodded.

"Miss Gilmore."

Rory smiled her thanks and pushed open Tristan's door. "Hey, handsome."

He looked up from his work, pushing it aside and smiling at her. "Mary," he said, motioning her forward. She came closer, moving to his desk and sitting on top of it, crossing her legs.

"You got a new secretary," she said and Tristan nodded.

"Yeah, Stephanie," he confirmed.

Rory nodded. "She seems very...unorthodox."

He smiled. "She is. It's a nice change," he admitted. "She very well might be the only one that hasn't tried to sleep with me."

Rory chuckled. "Mmm, I like her already," she said, leaning in to kiss him.

He kissed her back lightly and pulled back, grinning at her. "How was your morning?" he asked. She shrugged.

"It was nice. I had quite the trip down memory lane."

Tristan nodded. "Those pictures will do that to you," he said knowingly. "Trust me."

Her face fell slightly into an expression of guilt. "Yeah..."

He pulled her off of his desk and over to sit on his lap. "Mary," he started, reaching up to hold her face towards him so she wouldn't turn away. "You know you're no fun when you're brooding."

She let a smile slip across her lips and sighed. "Sorry."

He tipped his head. "So it's Friday," he stated and she nodded, confusion evident in her expression. He smirked at her. "Any chance you have plans for the weekend?"

She nodded slowly in understanding and shrugged. "Not yet," she said, hope lining her voice.

He smiled widely. "I have an idea," he said and she raised her eyebrows at him. "That is if you're up for being around me all weekend," he added.

"Are you kidding? I don't think I could spend enough time with you right now."

He cocked an eyebrow back at her. "Is that right?"

She laughed, nodding, a little worriedly at his expression. "What do you have in mind, Dugrey?"

"I think we should spend the weekend with your mom."

She looked up at him surprised. "Really?"

He shrugged. "Unless you don't want to..." he trailed off and she shook her head quickly.

"No," she said. "I absolutely want to."

He grinned. "Good. Then it's a plan."

"When can we leave?" she asked, her voice laced with excitement, already pulling out her cell phone to call her mother.

Tristan laughed as she stood off of his lap and hopped back onto his desk. "I'm pretty much done here. Give me some time to get packed?"

Rory nodded, phone pressed to her ear.

"Lorelai Leigh Gilmore that better be you!" Lorelai answered.

"Hi, Mom," Rory greeted, laughter evident in her voice.

"Finally, the prodigal daughter decides to phone home!"

Rory rolled her eyes and Tristan cocked an eyebrow curiously. She moved the phone from her ear and pressed the speaker phone button.

"I've been away from you for a day. And I called you this morning. That hardly classifies me as prodigal daughter." She laughed, glancing at Tristan who merely smiled and shook his head.

"Well you'd better be calling to tell me you owe me your life for that early morning phone call" Lorelai said, and Rory could almost see her putting her hands on her hips.

"My being up so early," she paused and glanced at Tristan who winked at her. "Was not my fault."

"He's right there isn't he?" Lorelai asked knowingly.

Rory laughed and held the phone out to Tristan. "Hi, Lorelai," he said.

"I imagine after your night of re-corrupting my daughter you've decided to rekindle your relationship?"

Tristan smiled and raised his eyebrows at Rory. "Well if you're asking I believe it was Rory who re-corrupted me last night. You know she's really very-"

"Tristan!" Rory's squeal caused Lorelai to chuckle.

"I don't need to know!" Lorelai stated.

"We're back together," Tristan confirmed, pulling Rory back onto his lap and kissing her lightly.

"And," Rory said. "We were thinking we'd come spend some quality time with you this weekend."

"Perfect!" Lorelai exclaimed and Rory smiled. "I'll get the movies! You and the innocent corrupted can bring the junk food!"

"We'll be there in a few hours," Rory said, saying goodbye to her mother and hanging up the phone. "Ready to get packed?" She asked, turning to Tristan.

He grinned, nodding and standing up after her. "Let's go."

He watched as she practically raced out the door and smiled softly. "Tristan!" He laughed and followed her out. God, it was incredible to have her again. And this time, he promised himself, he'd never let her go.


End file.
